I woke up the other night, not being able to sleep. So many things were being tossed around my head and my heart. As I lay there, I felt like God was saying to me, "What are you lacking, precious one?"
I felt like I could answer that in a thousand ways! Sometimes, I feel as if I'm lacking everything...
And at the same time, I knew that the Holy Spirit was whispering to my soul:
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4
I was overwhelmed with the realization that, in Christ, I. lack. nothing. God knows what he has called our family to. God knows what we're up against. God knows our hearts. God knows our willingness. God knows our tears. God knows our struggles. God knows our impatience. God knows our trials. God knows our family. And so, even in my moments of doubt, I lack nothing.
There is no lack of faith...for we have faith like a mustard seed.
There is no lack of courage...for in Christ, ALL things are possible.
There is no lack of trust...for our hearts don't lean on our own understanding.
There is no lack of finances...for we know and believe that God has called us according to His purpose and owns the cattle on a thousand hills.
There is no lack of hope...for this is the very essence of Christ in me, the HOPE of glory.
There is no lack of perseverance...for we are in this race until the end.
I laid there...blown away at my unfaithfulness...ungratefulness...but, at the same time, reveling in His truth. Our lives are the ultimate conundrum sometimes - but oh, how beautiful the mess we've made when we know that He reigns in the midst of it. I have no doubts that I will cross some of these same bridges again, but know that God's grace covers me. My faith is not yet mature and complete...but I strive to be more like Jesus each day.
And what a better way to drift off to sleep, than to have my Abba Father whisper sweetly to my soul..."With me, precious one, you are lacking nothing..."
Lord, I pray that my honest heart...no matter how ugly, raw, unbelieving or beautiful...is better than a hallelujah...