tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44462203417248885712024-02-21T11:29:21.938-05:00MizpahMizpah comes from Genesis 31:49 and is a Hebrew word that means, "May God watch between us while we are apart from one another." This blog began as the cry of our hearts while our family was separated by distance during my husband's deployment in Iraq...and it continues as our family begins the journey to bring God's family into our family...through adoption!Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-48860348662590727982014-01-07T14:17:00.000-05:002019-03-06T19:22:28.662-05:00One year ago today...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One year ago today...<br />
<br />
It was the return to school from Christmas Break. A long, wonderful, disappointing break. As any adoptive mama will tell you, hope deferred truly makes the heart sick. I never imagined we would go into 2013 without seeing our sweet daughter's face. Having started our process in 2011 (and even before that with agency/program switches and waiting lists....), we were ready to meet our girl. I am pretty sure I even shed a few tears on New Year's Eve, and J and I prayed that we would remain hopeful and patient. <br />
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Well, any teacher who's been in the classroom for more than five <strike>minutes</strike> seconds knows what an exhausting day the return from break is! When I got home, I quite literally collapsed on the couch. I remember flipping on Ellen and zoning out completely. Hearing my phone buzz, I half-consciously reached for it - and saw this:<br />
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**edit - removed for privacy**<br />
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I'd love to tell you that I jumped up right away, and danced for joy...but that just isn't how adoption works. (Typically, when our agency places files on their website, it was for children with significant special needs, or needs other families have not said they would consider.) My curiosity peaked, though - so I reached for the computer. <br />
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And I saw this. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNmOFxv9HtsHC2_Z746ZrVHBFMvSqkS_l9CfMWnEYXIEBwtiej3aH_NlznvLeG9-9KWp6SHeZsseyCTgANTA9Oq17lB-3qHiZXVrkweSfniKKhC_pdblAw1UoKgRssjW3n2vZoXAV4lbi/s1600/Ellie+referral.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTNmOFxv9HtsHC2_Z746ZrVHBFMvSqkS_l9CfMWnEYXIEBwtiej3aH_NlznvLeG9-9KWp6SHeZsseyCTgANTA9Oq17lB-3qHiZXVrkweSfniKKhC_pdblAw1UoKgRssjW3n2vZoXAV4lbi/s1600/Ellie+referral.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And this. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGVhyphenhyphenrZz_msG0cLVU86b_YPFPg6ChG25gPUz0xAUWbXS5hMdhwp6miyAhG8OZDnZN9cwJWrTWBegtJ-KZMl94Q4yvtMeOWXysCmh9i3vuOBjrj5HwG39R8Wv0qqzJr43GbQmVNrl8gu6fF/s1600/Ellie+referral+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGVhyphenhyphenrZz_msG0cLVU86b_YPFPg6ChG25gPUz0xAUWbXS5hMdhwp6miyAhG8OZDnZN9cwJWrTWBegtJ-KZMl94Q4yvtMeOWXysCmh9i3vuOBjrj5HwG39R8Wv0qqzJr43GbQmVNrl8gu6fF/s1600/Ellie+referral+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And this. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kAzLULsufLdmQ8LHET8QxS72PYMMIFBZ-Ol-vMcxvfbm_g7HE3InDXMM5rNoE11gBaN5bcgBCja4THoxXrVtW2QoELpGiqpp3JkVR8EaDmU10EL4dAsHONX-xVCjPo6b4xoO9qqcc4bz/s1600/Ellie+referral+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2kAzLULsufLdmQ8LHET8QxS72PYMMIFBZ-Ol-vMcxvfbm_g7HE3InDXMM5rNoE11gBaN5bcgBCja4THoxXrVtW2QoELpGiqpp3JkVR8EaDmU10EL4dAsHONX-xVCjPo6b4xoO9qqcc4bz/s1600/Ellie+referral+4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
I was smitten. Her <span style="font-size: large;">eyes </span>got me first. Then her <span style="font-size: large;">lips</span>. There was something about her that just made my <i>heart jump</i>...<br />
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We had long prayed that she would be cared for in a loving environment and that we would have a peace about her being a part of our family. Her profile certainly spoke to the first part of that. What we had ALSO very carefully, and prayerfully, considered were the list of special needs we were comfortable with and could handle with our insurance, family situation and access to care. Her need was NOT among what we had considered. I googled it, for sure. Read a bit about it, and then closed up the computer. <br />
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So I sat on it. I didn't call Joshua. I thought, 'maybe God means her for someone else...' I put the computer aside and moved my attention back to Ellen. Because seriously. She's funny. And I needed to zone out. <br />
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But then my phone buzzed again. I reached for it somewhat reluctantly, if I'm honest. <br />
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**edit - removed for privacy**<br />
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Ok, Lord. You now have my attention. Two completely random friends messaging me within an hour about her file. <br />
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I seriously was having heart palpitations as the next 3 minutes flew by. <br />
<br />
I called Joshua - the love of my life and the best daddy I know. This is what our call was like: "HeybabyIjustwantedtoaskCCAIputanewfileupandherneedisnotonewehadconsideredbutIfeellikeweneedtoatleastlookatherfilethere'snoharminthatright??" I'm pretty sure he told me to take a deep breath and in his level-headed way, said, "Yeah. Totally no harm - we haven't seen any files yet, so go ahead and call if you feel we're supposed to." <i>(Btw...this is why we're married. Even. Keeled.) </i><br />
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I dialed our agency as quick as possible and then promptly forgot every extension to every person I had ever talked to there in the last year and a half. Which is crazy. Because I <strike>bugged them</strike> called them a LOT. After what felt like an eternity (mind you, we're still in the 3 minutes between messages up there!), the Child Match Director was on the line. She assured me she would get the file to me and it would take a bit to get it together to email. I'm pretty sure she gave me a few other tidbits, but I was no longer listening to her. The thoughts had begun....<i>is she our daughter?</i> <br />
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While I waited for J to get home to look at her file, I couldn't stop going back to the website and staring at her. I read and reread her profile. I studied the three pictures that were there. Forget Ellen. (Sorry, Ellen. Pretty sure you don't read my blog anyway.) This baby was TOO sweet. <br />
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Caleb leaned over on the couch to me (crap....I forgot he was home! sort of.). I didn't want him to know about any of this yet - our heartbreak didn't need to be his if it didn't go well. Too late, though...he had seen her. And in typical 8 year old fashion (ok, that is a total lie....in MY typical 8 year old's fashion...), he asks, "Oh, mom...is that her? Is that Ellie?" I carefully tried to measure my response - "I don't know, buddy...daddy and mommy still have to talk and pray about it, probably talk to a doctor, too. But what do you think?" He looked at her picture one more time and breathed, "She's everything I dreamed she would be..." <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Swear it. I died a little inside. </span><br />
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Fast forward to J getting home from work...I held strong and hadn't opened any of the files our agency had sent! We went into the bedroom with the computer and stared at each other for a second. Then we prayed. Then we stared at each other some more. <i> (Nuts, aren't we?!)</i><br />
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You see, this isn't the way we thought it was going to play out. We thought that one day, out of the blue, our agency would call us and say, "We've got a match for you!" We would wait expectantly by our computer, we would take pictures to document the moment, etc. Pretty ridiculous. One of the biggest things we learned and struggled with and grew through was the concept of expectations. This was like, Exhibit #45. <br />
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Let's just say the next few days were a whirlwind - but the best kind. We officially submitted our Letter of Intent on January 10, and on January 17, we received our Pre-Approval from China!! We could now announce to the world that we had a DAUGHTER...and we did. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfS9g-lAMkDKSYVSX8ZC6MS4OBAhTpQXAC6wgtZNYgPOUdNQq2KWUP6ETT3V0BGBSJL9nV3-wIvd2Wf4-FT62_-MT9OEPD4iOt899CNeFrdzuTjd7ifSpezrZ0Qes-s60oesxg-hsHxNyd/s1600/Announcement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfS9g-lAMkDKSYVSX8ZC6MS4OBAhTpQXAC6wgtZNYgPOUdNQq2KWUP6ETT3V0BGBSJL9nV3-wIvd2Wf4-FT62_-MT9OEPD4iOt899CNeFrdzuTjd7ifSpezrZ0Qes-s60oesxg-hsHxNyd/s1600/Announcement.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, one year ago today, we celebrate. <br />
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We celebrate <span style="font-size: large;">family</span>. <br />
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We celebrate <span style="font-size: large;">community</span>. <br />
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We celebrate <span style="font-size: large;">love</span>. <br />
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<i>Happy Referral-versary, Eliana Grace!! </i></div>
Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-68018727406021604982012-02-21T19:50:00.000-05:002012-02-21T19:50:46.373-05:00i give up.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I am challenged each year by the season of Lent...when we refocus our spiritual eyes on the sacrifices and great Love that was given for us. <br />
<br />
Sometimes I have chosen to give things up. A quick recap of prior years, if you will: Coke (my roommates hated me), tv, fast food, Facebook (best thing I ever did)...<br />
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These small sacrifices on my part do help me in some small way to realize my flesh rules more than I want it to. Discipline is spurred. Relationships strengthened. It is good. <br />
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But it is not enough. Friends, we can never match the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. Not ever. But there is a part of me that says it is not enough. Not for me. Not for that nagging voice inside me that always is critical of my motives and my heart. It lies to me...<em>you could do more, you could be more, you are not able...</em><br />
<br />
I have struggled for years to know one singular truth - <strong>I am enough.</strong> <br />
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Who the God of this universe made me to be. Who I am. Who I want to be. Its <em>all</em> enough. <br />
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I don't have to please the world. I don't have to earn love. I don't have to be perfect. <br />
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And yet, sometimes, I still don't quite believe it. <br />
<br />
So this year, I give up. [This year for Lent, I hope in some way, you join me in giving up, too.]<br />
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I give up...<br />
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<strong>Worrying what others think about me. </strong><br />
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<strong>Striving for perfection. </strong><br />
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<strong>Labels.</strong><br />
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<strong>Fear of the unknown.</strong><br />
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<strong>Stress over things I cannot control. </strong><br />
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<strong>Self - condemnation.</strong><br />
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<strong>Guilt. </strong><br />
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<strong>Lack of discipline.</strong> <br />
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I could go on...but that's quite a list already, don't ya think? <br />
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Believing the promise of Romans 12:2<em> - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be <strong><span style="color: #990000;">transformed </span></strong>by the renewing of your mind..."</em> <br />
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Give up the lies the world feeds you. The lies the devil wants you to accept as truth. <br />
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We are sons of Adam and daughters of Eve. And if the very Son of God thought enough of you to die on a cross on a hill...we must learn to accept that truth. <br />
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Here's to giving up. Renew your mind. Fill it with truth. I'm with you. <br />
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<em>[And hey...if you need to give up Coke, tv, fast food, Facebook, etc...you do that, too. Go for it. That's between you and Jesus.]</em></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-23995214856277091902012-02-21T19:29:00.000-05:002012-02-21T19:29:04.182-05:00In God We Trust<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Many of you have asked me about our biggest spiritual take-aways, thus far, as we traverse this process of adoption. Really wanna know? Here it is: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBNUAfohcwPnhO6JOajeyKrBB8f4WsYFIw9xBUIYUT4xl_T_GenIAroxYQdstN0dXZ61TnGSRAJcU29IrPMmBSvw6IVXVsztsClbB39NGdgtGzZTy3ZB8HTx5alRDYkuNu_oxMLeaSJFBw/s1600/IGWT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBNUAfohcwPnhO6JOajeyKrBB8f4WsYFIw9xBUIYUT4xl_T_GenIAroxYQdstN0dXZ61TnGSRAJcU29IrPMmBSvw6IVXVsztsClbB39NGdgtGzZTy3ZB8HTx5alRDYkuNu_oxMLeaSJFBw/s1600/IGWT.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
Yep. Trust is such an interesting thing. I often times fool myself into thinking that I don't have trust issues. (Insert your own LOL here) I can think of dozens of situations and circumstances that I have lived through where my trust and faith have been shaped and molded into something that seems almost tangible at times. Going on 5 mission trips. Difficult family situations. Living without my husband for a year while he was overseas. I could go on...but in each of those situations, God has taken my faith and changed it into something real. Something strong. <br />
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Then I encounter a new situation. A new circumstance. And everything I know is challenged. <br />
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The beauty that I have found in this is that our salvation is a living thing. Our relationship with Jesus is alive...and it is either well or unwell. <br />
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So I rest in knowing that I love and serve a God that is bigger than paper-chasing. I trust a God that MAKES adoption possible, because He first adopted us. <br />
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I can't trust in our social worker, although we think she's great.<br />
I can't trust in our case workers, although we think they're pretty awesome, too. <br />
I can't trust in the post office, although...wait. No. I just can't trust in the post office. ;-) <br />
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I want to control this situation, this process. But I can't. I won't.<br />
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I lay down each day, sometimes with tears in my eyes, and give it to my Abba Father. He knows a precious baby girl is meant to live out her life with purpose - and we will be waiting, trusting, with open arms. <br />
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Oh, and by the way. A hug if you see me wouldn't hurt, either. </div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-44187839545800599212012-01-12T22:37:00.004-05:002012-01-12T22:48:29.619-05:00Old News, New News....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><em><span style="color: #990000;"><strong>Please forgive the hodge-podge of thoughts, random jumblings, and musings of my mind...this is how it came out...</strong></span></em><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">For those that maybe missed the memo *wink*...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfs3Hm7QFMj1k1prRtlSp2FP7MMHXYhY_UzSW0RbSIVeT1FQ0M6-IjuwWiWEt000L9-_KnoVpQIwtTvbC_zS0jTRXGwSEGa8xs8UTjZAbNVBtvFNEegFhra_ibkrszNPg8Qn4tPXdG7Guw/s1600/Adoption+Announcement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfs3Hm7QFMj1k1prRtlSp2FP7MMHXYhY_UzSW0RbSIVeT1FQ0M6-IjuwWiWEt000L9-_KnoVpQIwtTvbC_zS0jTRXGwSEGa8xs8UTjZAbNVBtvFNEegFhra_ibkrszNPg8Qn4tPXdG7Guw/s320/Adoption+Announcement.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
We're having a baby!! (in about 12 -15 months...) </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">We were in such a season of discouragement - waiting. Spinning our wheels. A dear new friend counseled me one night. She told me that I needed to grieve for my expectation of how I thought this process would go. I needed to stop worrying about "stepping off the boat" and sit down and row for a while. We needed to rest. We needed to lay down our hearts, expectations, and hope at the feet of Jesus. Because even though He is the God of hope - He was not our focus. And He wanted to be. It was such a sweet, bitter, painful revelation...but those are the ones that bring about the most growth. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNXFjH-6J1vPT0xuY4dPzSxSyP1aLDZ3Nj460CxUhyphenhyphen5SGPpAE0c8cKSAOH3AgVr0Mg_BC3w9SXRzJeB9AhRYmxwh3o8RQy6U0uiHiPLkBHKRjEf_V00sSUqaYaQXeNyww68UBRP8jFAgM/s1600/Seek.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwNXFjH-6J1vPT0xuY4dPzSxSyP1aLDZ3Nj460CxUhyphenhyphen5SGPpAE0c8cKSAOH3AgVr0Mg_BC3w9SXRzJeB9AhRYmxwh3o8RQy6U0uiHiPLkBHKRjEf_V00sSUqaYaQXeNyww68UBRP8jFAgM/s1600/Seek.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">So, refocused after that season, we jumped in with both feet. Jesus moved in so many ways...showed himself faithful through others when I was feeling faith-less. He revealed what family is in a beautiful way. And now? We. Are. Ready. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And by ready....I mean a mess some days. Lemme tell ya. Adoption is hard. And super awesome. J and I laugh all the time about how adoption babymaking is sooooooo different than the babymaking we know. Don't blush. It is. I'll be straight here...sex is WAY more fun than filling out paperwork. For reals. Don't judge me. We know the outcome of all the paperwork. We know the purpose, the beauty and the reality of it all will be wrapped up in our beautiful baby girl. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">But seriously. See for yourself: </div><br />
<strong><u>Old school babymaking</u></strong><br />
<br />
sex<br />
uh...yeah. that's it. <br />
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<em>(***PLEASE know that this is sooooo tongue-in-cheek. It is our experience only. It is not meant to make light of the struggles of those that adopt because of infertility, miscarriage and great loss. We were in that boat, too...and understand to some degree...what your journey looks like.***) </em><br />
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<strong><u>Adoption babymaking</u></strong> <br />
<br />
Applications - for home study agency and int'l agency <br />
sex<br />
Home study (4 interviews)<br />
Adoption petition<br />
Financial application<br />
lovin'<br />
Medical physicals (x2)<br />
Blood work <br />
Fire inspection<br />
Fire evacuation plan/extinguisher<br />
Employer verifications<br />
Financial statements<br />
Documents (birth, marriage, etc.)<br />
Passports<br />
sex<br />
notarization<br />
USCIS I800A forms<br />
smoochin' (I said, don't judge me! He's cute...what do you want from me?!)<br />
certification of forms<br />
Fingerprints<br />
Emailing caseworkers<br />
Police Clearances<br />
Child Abuse clearances - OH/TX<br />
References (x5)<br />
12 hours of parent training (each)<br />
Well water inspection test<br />
Writing checks<br />
Going to <strike>living at</strike> the post office<br />
Researching/hiring a courier service<br />
......<br />
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I'm sure I'm forgetting something. But I think you get it. :-) <br />
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Friends, this is an <em>intentional</em> process. Adoption by its very nature is intentional. When God says in Ephesians and Psalms and Hosea and James and all throughout the Word that He adopted <em><strong>US</strong></em> into His family through our salvation...that He places the lonely in families....that in Him the orphan finds a home....that pure religion is one that looks after orphans - it all leads to an intentional God. I for one am humbled to know that the God of the universe...He wanted me. It brings tears to my eyes. It overwhelms my heart. God, that we may <em><strong>ALL</strong></em> know such love. <br />
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Church, this is our call. For Joshua and I, personally, it was a very real call. One we couldn't ignore. <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">This is our moment...as a church. As a family. </div><br />
I have been SO challenged lately by David Platt, author of <em><u>Radical</u></em>. He very matter-of-factly says that Christians are so quick to claim the promises of the Word, such as, "Come to me all of you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest..." Those promises are for them. We own them. We proclaim them with conviction. But we are quick to dismiss mandates like the Great Commission - to go into all the world, or the outline in James 1:27 - to look after orphans and widows. Those are only for those that are "called." Friends, we are all called. We are called holy, dearly loved, sons and daughters...we are called. <br />
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It might begin as a whisper. It might begin like a thunderclap. But we are called. <br />
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Now hear my heart here. I am challenged by this as much as you might be. There is no judgement here. Search your heart. Seek after Christ. What does that mean for you? Should you open your home to foster? Is your family in a place to adopt? Can you provide respite, or meals, for a family that can or is? Is it time to see the world, God's world, on a mission trip? Working with the least of these? Can you financially provide for someone else to go and pray for them? Is there a talent that you have that you can use creatively for the Lord? Is your church in need of volunteers in the children's ministry or ushers or greeters? Is it time for you to tithe regularly and faithfully and with great joy? <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Be intentional in this new year. Don't dismiss the promises and mandates of the Word. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They're for you. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They're for me. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They're for all of us. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And I think what we find that in giving ourselves away to the Lord with intention...we find out that WE are the ones being filled and blessed in return. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJH3cchpLbOoxTu7Lvgil5e937F2Ts2YE1cbybitoHktpw0ljWVwoYw0Zc1xTTK5XMIhtz3XYikw1_ei_wW6jj8Thsu40bt-7MsLLzgHAcT35u3kpEyykkJHhlajz4voppmovKp1CwaWhM/s1600/Sacrifice+and+blessing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJH3cchpLbOoxTu7Lvgil5e937F2Ts2YE1cbybitoHktpw0ljWVwoYw0Zc1xTTK5XMIhtz3XYikw1_ei_wW6jj8Thsu40bt-7MsLLzgHAcT35u3kpEyykkJHhlajz4voppmovKp1CwaWhM/s320/Sacrifice+and+blessing.jpg" width="233" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">God is good. All the time. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And all the time...? (Let's hear it, friends...!!) </div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-18593980111882613062011-12-12T16:55:00.000-05:002011-12-12T16:55:39.993-05:00run for it!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Some of you know me. I mean, <em>REALLY</em> know me. And although I'm really all about being healthy, I exercise very, um, infrequently. I mean, come on...who has time? <br />
<br />
Unfortuntately for me, this summer, I did. Had lots of time. So I decided to sign up for my first 5K. (please keep your laughing to a minimum) A local orphan care ministry was having a fundraiser - and if there was any reason to get me to run - this was it. I typically say that I don't run unless someone is chasing me with a sharp object. Or a Diet Coke. Then I'll run. ;-) <br />
<br />
So, I roped my older sister into the race with me, and Caleb joined in the fun, too. <br />
<br />
So, without further ado...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtbuowOAs1WI-P9TfXe4Vr23wzRTuchz4Yw3AWqWikJkTevXPIaqbFPE9C5DDt47BA9v9WvGr9K_ogBzrImvLVNyLYSjuRW0o6rG9rW-m0_om6qJyqKVtVXoib6yBd8-7fC8YF9wBDty-e/s1600/Caleb+run.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtbuowOAs1WI-P9TfXe4Vr23wzRTuchz4Yw3AWqWikJkTevXPIaqbFPE9C5DDt47BA9v9WvGr9K_ogBzrImvLVNyLYSjuRW0o6rG9rW-m0_om6qJyqKVtVXoib6yBd8-7fC8YF9wBDty-e/s320/Caleb+run.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Here comes Caleb! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPKvjFxow24qmX4P0ntMLDmc64VEXIv2rYlFeplAI8NEF_MsvF-w4gRHlWgbo8MGpXQ3p6PQ9zRtRiNB2aoRSrrWrmwK31ZYGfrwe2yu_m-E4NeDmI5bxa2xK6R2jFhhQ6O81b61txzonW/s1600/Caleb+run+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPKvjFxow24qmX4P0ntMLDmc64VEXIv2rYlFeplAI8NEF_MsvF-w4gRHlWgbo8MGpXQ3p6PQ9zRtRiNB2aoRSrrWrmwK31ZYGfrwe2yu_m-E4NeDmI5bxa2xK6R2jFhhQ6O81b61txzonW/s320/Caleb+run+2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> He ran a 1 mile race...he was the 1st place finisher for boys! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXS3rrz9AoYKMqdq_s2PkYAryVN_elYI2J4QhaVZB6TYnH84CxvRVjAK4yWG54jGHjN6UUi5-uvGrLGXK8-D4ozijoZ0T9s4FfAduWS3FuRRb8OCAb7zCThMyELrI6c5d-mYsLSqRAsvTy/s1600/Race+start.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXS3rrz9AoYKMqdq_s2PkYAryVN_elYI2J4QhaVZB6TYnH84CxvRVjAK4yWG54jGHjN6UUi5-uvGrLGXK8-D4ozijoZ0T9s4FfAduWS3FuRRb8OCAb7zCThMyELrI6c5d-mYsLSqRAsvTy/s320/Race+start.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Here we go! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0t4cBZlJIgYhT5C-XOqz5deUssp_57KRMA6MvxI4qR09PuQMge4IHkaVT8pP5BieD51uChpMDSVaNvlLbc7RonVNfpdrPl8OD03ikfzgK0n_INE_g6VvlI2v2wAwxW-AObBWu2ISEiTo/s1600/Ugly+finish.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP0t4cBZlJIgYhT5C-XOqz5deUssp_57KRMA6MvxI4qR09PuQMge4IHkaVT8pP5BieD51uChpMDSVaNvlLbc7RonVNfpdrPl8OD03ikfzgK0n_INE_g6VvlI2v2wAwxW-AObBWu2ISEiTo/s320/Ugly+finish.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">You don't need to know our time, right? ;-) </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOTFVfMs1DszSgnlj0q-m1o4GLKMZRHH9WWyjHC49M2ZKSQJwwlikcuo0oh85KJNr7HUTM-2gbP8vfHMgxkVAXU2jK_SJxLsr8plxuoFGmiee8Rn3L4-XsUhl6nrHeAOj3vDc8YsuBrXtS/s1600/Caleb+kiss.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" oda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOTFVfMs1DszSgnlj0q-m1o4GLKMZRHH9WWyjHC49M2ZKSQJwwlikcuo0oh85KJNr7HUTM-2gbP8vfHMgxkVAXU2jK_SJxLsr8plxuoFGmiee8Rn3L4-XsUhl6nrHeAOj3vDc8YsuBrXtS/s320/Caleb+kiss.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center">We finished! </div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And while we didn't win anything crazy, we all finished, and I was super proud to have reached a goal that I had been working towards. We didn't just run for us, and that's what made it feel best of all. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We ran for the fatherless. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We ran for friends who are adopting. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We ran for our new godson/nephew/cousin Levi.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We ran for our little one. </div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><em>Here we come, baby girl. We're "running for it"...</em></div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-82107189623566930122011-10-24T18:33:00.000-04:002011-10-24T18:33:50.933-04:00To be honest and all.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Friends, this is so long overdue, I feel I need to write to purge my soul and apologize, all at the same time! I used to write and journal for myself...and I often feel like I have time for everything BUT myself as of late. I am making no promises that the journey will continue to be regular, but I will promise for it to be honest! <br />
<br />
I know so many of you continue to read our blog to follow our adoption journey. That journey is long and difficult and it seems to have come to a stall. We have been waiting for 6 months...well, make that 14 years...but on a "real" waiting list for 6 months - simply for an application. A piece of paper. Something that says, yes...we'll consider you a family worth investing in a forever for. The call to adopt is never one that we will question...but the process...oh, the process...<br />
<br />
We have been through things that many families have struggled with - marital growing pains, sudden deployment, miscarriage, financial setbacks, job issues, etc. - and we are blessed that God continues to show himself strong in the midst of that AND in bringing glory to himself. We have laughed and cried with many of you as we have been able to share our story of redemption and healing and believe that God works through those conversations. We have rejoiced in the inexplicable joy of dear friends expanding their families through their bellies and their hearts. <br />
<br />
But we continue to wait. <br />
<br />
Its hard and it hurts and its ugly and it sucks. To be honest and all. <br />
<br />
And some days its beautiful and its just fine and sometimes its full of hope and promise. To be honest and all. <br />
<br />
Many of you know our hearts and have walked this process with us for a few years now as it has ebbed and flowed in its own way. We thank you because there are times I feel we couldn't live without your encouragement. Right now, after a long journey in the desert, I feel that hope is rising in my own heart again. That God is on the move. His faithfulness is astounding and His promises are true. My heart is believing it. <br />
<br />
I don't know what the journey looks like from here...but I have some good perspective. The sun is rising on the side of the mountain that I am climbing and the light can be blinding. But we are never walking alone. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><em>“They say Aslan is on the move - perhaps has already landed.”</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em></em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em><br />
</em></div><div style="text-align: center;"><em>The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Chapter 7</em></div><br />
<br />
I love that. To be honest and all. <3<br />
</div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-75921994104846979922011-08-15T23:19:00.001-04:002011-08-17T00:04:49.658-04:00struggling<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_iv7ly7="110"><em closure_uid_6a7asc="103" closure_uid_iv7ly7="184">"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33</em></div><br />
<div closure_uid_iv7ly7="119">Friends, pray for me. I am so struggling right now...</div><div closure_uid_iv7ly7="119"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_iv7ly7="119">Gonna be honest about where my heart is - I'm praying that prayer up there...but backwards. I want the "all things added to me" before I am seeking God and his will. That's an ugly realization. I think I have gotten so consumed by the adoption, family circumstances, etc...I have been "seeking" God's will on those things and allowed my simple desire for God, and God alone, to get lost in the shuffle. Now, I certainly don't want you to think I've gone all 'heathen' on you...that's not the case. Just a good swift kick in my own pants about my priorities. I want to desire him above <em>everything</em> else. </div><div closure_uid_iv7ly7="119"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_iv7ly7="119"><a href="http://ourmissinglinck.blogspot.com/2011/08/desiring-him.html">My blog friend, Jennifer</a>, wrote the most incredible post about this...I hope you'll head over and be encouraged!! </div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-45074066175619770722011-08-06T22:19:00.000-04:002011-08-06T22:19:54.080-04:00Perspective.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Welp, J's gone for two weeks. The Army calls...and we're gonna miss him!! <br />
<br />
<div closure_uid_lv53n3="106">Caleb put it very well yesterday. He very thoughtfully said, after I asked how he was doing with daddy leaving, "Well...daddy was gone for a whole year before. Yeah, I can do two more weeks. I can do two weeks." He nodded for just a bit more affirmation. </div><div closure_uid_lv53n3="106"><br />
</div><div closure_uid_lv53n3="106"><em>I think we can do it too, mister...</em></div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-48496324867201088012011-06-17T18:34:00.000-04:002011-06-17T18:34:29.440-04:00speechless<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">There's a song I have long loved by Steven Curtis Chapman, and its words have been echoing through my brain these last few weeks. <br />
<br />
"Oh how great is the love<br />
The father has lavished upon us<br />
That we should be called<br />
The sons and the daughters of god<br />
<br />
We are speechless so amazed<br />
We stand in awe of your grace<br />
We stand in awe of your mercy<br />
You have saved us<br />
We stand in awe of your love<br />
From the grave<br />
We are speechless<br />
<br />
We are speechless in your presence now<br />
We stand in awe of your cross<br />
We're astounded as we consider how<br />
We stand in awe of your power<br />
You have shown us<br />
A love that leaves us speechless<br />
We are speechless"<br />
<br />
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Joshua and I have said that we truly feel that we've "stepped off the boat" when it comes to the adoption. We believe that even with all of the uncertainty with time frames, etc....God is truly meeting us there...in the midst of the storm and doubt and renewing our faith. Our faith in Him. Our faith in others' love and faithfulness. Yes, we ARE speechless. <br />
<br />
Our first fundraiser - our yard sale - was a wonderful success! THANK YOU to everyone who donated items, dropped things off, let us borrow your truck for weeks (Neal!), and served with us selflessly for 2 days (my sisters and brother-in-law, Josh and Annie, Tina, Stephanie, the Crosiers...I hope I didn't forget anyone!!). It truly was a fish and loaves experience...I have never seen so much stuff! I have also never been so blessed by the goodness of loved ones and strangers. In 2 days, we were able to raise $2,129! Thank you, thank you, thank you...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGbnhwjdagGqJY-ZZyiXzOPlLqpg4SQ_-aOyS6iWcKvMrjK9FyRn952nNBeUJYK3SD8uONDirV2-e8mGZicyXlicVi1WWqJ2C37zAI48HoG-_YXPOHCikmOMaaknJg3Ftm7ZD41f7L5Le/s1600/DSC03754.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGbnhwjdagGqJY-ZZyiXzOPlLqpg4SQ_-aOyS6iWcKvMrjK9FyRn952nNBeUJYK3SD8uONDirV2-e8mGZicyXlicVi1WWqJ2C37zAI48HoG-_YXPOHCikmOMaaknJg3Ftm7ZD41f7L5Le/s320/DSC03754.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUqhQh4j5gFnerYlNlukW00jWHOGr-8k8IMF-2n0Kup0jbPOZuQjOvKSSIq7FPXFSy07rfzYOYFfRiHowR5sTW3soxHLHWAJyursnwO4ItzYYtKBt3z-7PvD1vvPfF_tAmpBeWeTUSNt7M/s1600/DSC03756.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUqhQh4j5gFnerYlNlukW00jWHOGr-8k8IMF-2n0Kup0jbPOZuQjOvKSSIq7FPXFSy07rfzYOYFfRiHowR5sTW3soxHLHWAJyursnwO4ItzYYtKBt3z-7PvD1vvPfF_tAmpBeWeTUSNt7M/s320/DSC03756.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1nxv4keSkwHnSiXrV3_PevVy8gxBPJO0BwqburVfh-06E27V9qFaxGAmXApuSZZ0GPnhAfuhbYF2gHUzKM1x1U8gO84VNuL9blDxyi6kAGest9LlDMbwrpgnSphaPZDk3EeDugUsTEyZP/s1600/DSC03757.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1nxv4keSkwHnSiXrV3_PevVy8gxBPJO0BwqburVfh-06E27V9qFaxGAmXApuSZZ0GPnhAfuhbYF2gHUzKM1x1U8gO84VNuL9blDxyi6kAGest9LlDMbwrpgnSphaPZDk3EeDugUsTEyZP/s320/DSC03757.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRjHVEvBpWaxmQ5zRCZ9RKFJ5POvLv5KFWu6CDOfBiJ_OUcFKCd7HkVvQK5RZIRw8VomtXw8Y3fGAk4mPgoBRVV8DtwtdCzXHx87b5tZTVDL_FOOtCaBCvBZfDC7RaME3mhXkCd4P6uEGI/s1600/DSC03759.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRjHVEvBpWaxmQ5zRCZ9RKFJ5POvLv5KFWu6CDOfBiJ_OUcFKCd7HkVvQK5RZIRw8VomtXw8Y3fGAk4mPgoBRVV8DtwtdCzXHx87b5tZTVDL_FOOtCaBCvBZfDC7RaME3mhXkCd4P6uEGI/s320/DSC03759.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Our Leaves of Love fundraiser is also going well. I'll post more on that later! So far, that has raised about $600!! <br />
<br />
So, all said, between the two fundraisers and our saving, pinching and being as wise as we can be, our adoption account is at: $4,232.05. <br />
<br />
Speechless. God is SO good!! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/gH-1wj7_Q6k/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gH-1wj7_Q6k&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gH-1wj7_Q6k&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-67246805226584344322011-06-12T16:44:00.000-04:002011-06-12T16:44:14.700-04:00School's Out For Summer...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Wish I could follow that line up with "School's out forever", but alas, it is not to be so. :-) Just kidding ~ I SO love my job. That being said though, with summer's arrival, my blog hiatus is up! <br />
<br />
I have lots to share to get you up to speed on our lives...We'll be back soon! Stay tuned! <br />
<br />
*love*</div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-48572669624454732012011-05-01T20:39:00.002-04:002012-03-03T22:30:14.773-05:00Carr Family Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Dear Friends and Family,</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Wow…where to begin?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This will be your Christmas-in-Spring letter…times a million!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Andalus; mso-bidi-font-family: Andalus; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Andalus; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Andalus;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hope this letter finds you well!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been a crazy couple of years for the Carr’s!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joshua was gone all of 2009 in Iraq, but came home safely to us, and 2010 was a year of immense gratefulness for our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2011 has so far been exceptionally full of blessings as well…</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Joshua continues to work at the YMCA in Cuyahoga Falls as the Associate Executive Director.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He works part-time at the Beacon Journal (local newspaper) in the sports department 3 nights a week, and also is still a ‘weekend warrior’ with the National Guard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joshua also works with senior high youth group at our church and is on the leadership board as a delegate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s sort of our super star.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Meg is in her 3<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup> year teaching at Roberts Middle School in Cuyahoga Falls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s the goofiest 6<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> grade Social Studies teacher they have…and loves her job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meg also works with the senior high youth group, and especially loves meeting with and mentoring young girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Caleb is finishing up kindergarten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is working hard on reading, learning math skills, and loves art.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has tried his hand on a t-ball, soccer and basketball team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Caleb is also on our church dance team and loves to worship!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Even though we’ve painted a picture-perfect idea of what life has been like for us lately, the last few years has also come with difficulties; job worries, health concerns, loss of loved ones, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Through it all, God has been faithful and has shown our family great things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jeremiah 33:3 says, “<span style="color: black;">Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of those things is what we want to share with you today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the last few years, Joshua and I have felt very strongly on our hearts that we were supposed to adopt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was never a “Plan B” for our family – it was always something we felt God leading us to, but were not sure of the timing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though we can no longer have biological children of our own, the three of us feel that as a family, we are blessed to proceed with a process that we know is close to the heart of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many people may have questions about what we’re doing, so we’d like to answer some of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have more, please feel free to call or email us!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">Joshua:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="mailto:yoshjac@yahoo.com"><span style="color: blue;">yoshjac@yahoo.com</span></a><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>330.327.7700</span></div><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">Meg:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="mailto:megan.carr25@gmail.com"><span style="color: blue;">megan.carr25@gmail.com</span></a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>330.962.4787</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">Why adoption?</span></i></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, biologically, we cannot have more children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This has been so difficult emotionally, but we always knew we would adopt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bible talks about adoption in a myriad of ways, most of them being that God is a father to the fatherless, and that we ALL have been adopted into His family through our salvation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the most notable adoptees in the Bible were Jesus himself (with Joseph as his adopted earthly father) and Moses (adopted by the pharaoh of Egypt!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We feel that adoption is a directive of the gospel, and while people play different parts in that role, we feel that our role is to be the adoptive family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">Domestic or International?</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">We have decided together (all three of us!) to adopt internationally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right now, we are looking at Asia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many reasons for this, and you are welcome to ask away!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The best way we can explain it is that we know God’s heart is for the world – and so is ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are 145 million orphans in the world and we know that we are able to help at least one of them!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Many Asian countries </span>have up to a 53% abortion rate, because it is considered shameful to have children out of wedlock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Adoption domestically there is also not widely accepted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We feel very strongly that adoption not feel like a ‘business’, but as a way for many like-minded people to work together to form families, and so we are excited to work with a ministry as opposed to an agency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Many people want to know why we did not consider domestic adoption, and the best answer is – we did – but we feel, for a variety of reasons, that this is the best option for us.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">How long does it take?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></b><span style="font-family: Andalus;">That’s a tricky question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Andalus; mso-bidi-font-family: Andalus; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Andalus; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span><span style="font-family: Andalus;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sure wish it was quick and easy, but for things to be ethical, we know that this will certainly be a process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">Why is it so expensive?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></b><span style="color: black; font-family: Andalus;">P</span><span style="font-family: Andalus;">eople assume so many things about the cost of adoption, such as domestic adoptions being more inexpensive than international (which actually isn’t true), that we must be rich (NOT true! *laughing*), or that we will be writing one big check to our adoption agency and that's the end of that. None of these statements could be farther from the truth! There are fees associated with our applications, country, orphanage, home study, legal documents, notarization, translating, background checks, fingerprinting, travel, visas, and more. We'll certainly be writing checks to our agency, but our money will also be flowing into our local and state governments and various institutions in Asia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While we understand the exceptional cost, we also understand the exceptional way that God provides!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are saving, planning and working to make sure that this happens!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We currently have the following fundraisers planned, with more in the works:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Leaves of Love Tree – ongoing </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Friends and Family Garage Sale – May</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Dinner Theater – October (tentative date)</span></li>
</ul><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">How can we help?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i></b><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Lots of people have asked how they can help, which blesses us SO much!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love that adoption is a collective effort – very much what the Body of Christ represents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need prayer, first and foremost!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prayer for our family, the process itself, and our little one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need donations and/or volunteers for our garage sale in May.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, we would LOVE to have you be a part of our Leaves of Love Tree!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">If you live close, and have items you would like to donate to our garage sale, feel free to email or call us to set up a time to drop off your items.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">If you decide to donate to our Leaves of Love Tree, you can mail us your donation:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Joshua and Meg Carr</span></div><span style="font-family: Andalus;">**email us for address**</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">Thank you all SO much!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 75%; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-family: Andalus; font-size: 20pt; line-height: 75%;">Leaves of Love</span></u></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMDP9Fkui99ZpH3cao3btOjNZrfAcfzuexGw1xM8R09b4SdiaTe7tMhjCvPRaMWI7uXy19OhRacU_ERpwIO_PQ6ppom0NmW-quOSgqD7X9ZVY8QWH3NQVzKNTsPA9ANyH2KXdCOVz8veNT/s1600/Leaves+of+Love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMDP9Fkui99ZpH3cao3btOjNZrfAcfzuexGw1xM8R09b4SdiaTe7tMhjCvPRaMWI7uXy19OhRacU_ERpwIO_PQ6ppom0NmW-quOSgqD7X9ZVY8QWH3NQVzKNTsPA9ANyH2KXdCOVz8veNT/s320/Leaves+of+Love.jpg" width="205" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">The idea behind Leaves of Love was created by an adoptive family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They send us a 24 x 36 print of the image you see above, with enough room for 100 – 150 thumbprints.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are hoping to have people donate $10 or more for our “family tree”, and for each donation, we will add a thumbprint with their name, or special verse, etc. onto our tree. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our hope is to have it framed and placed in our baby’s room as a reminder of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">family</i> that created, loved, prayed for, and helped bring her home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you would like to help us with this, we would be SO grateful! </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Andalus;">We will be posting progress on our Tree, fundraising, events, process, etc. on our blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would love it if you followed along with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are honored to call you all family, friends and loved ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-63347302953718262172011-04-22T11:49:00.001-04:002011-04-22T11:49:38.862-04:00it IS a Good Friday...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/nPIOkdNL-QQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-54054193472161786982011-04-10T22:33:00.000-04:002011-04-10T22:33:57.768-04:00beautiful things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">our pastor is one of the most amazing women I've ever met. she's doing a series right now called "beautiful things", and in light of where we are in life right now, its perfect. sermon notes from today: <br />
<br />
ecclesiastes 3:11 (one of my FAVE verses ever) ~ "He has made everything beautiful in its itme. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beauty</span> is subjective.<br />
Our ideas about <span style="color: #cc0000;">beauty</span> can be terribly flawed. <br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beauty</span> is not always practical. <br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beauty</span> originates in God.<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beautiful things</span> inspire honor and admiration.<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beautiful things</span> touch the soul. <br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beautiful things</span> are born of sacrifice (I LOVE this one...the 'ouchy' ones are the best!!!)<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Beautiful things</span> point to a Creator and a Redeemer.<br />
<br />
my mind couldn't help but wander after each point to <strong>adoption</strong>...because it is <em>such</em> a <span style="color: #cc0000;">beautiful thing</span>. it is <em>such</em> a <span style="color: #cc0000;">beautiful thing</span> to realize that our salvation begins and ends in adoption as God brings us into His everlasting family. what a stunning act of sacrifice and love. i also thought of my marriage, my family, my mess of a life that He makes <span style="color: #cc0000;">beautiful</span> each day...<br />
<br />
.i am overwhelmed by <span style="color: #cc0000;">beauty</span>. <br />
<br />
i know i've been posting lots of songs lately, but this one has SO ministered to me. i love the words in the song: "remind me You take broken things and turn them into <span style="color: #cc0000;">beautiful</span>..." <br />
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praying for <span style="color: #cc0000;">beautiful</span> days ahead for you, friends...</div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-87323883245039056532011-03-20T23:13:00.001-04:002011-03-20T23:14:10.781-04:00lacking nothing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><em>*i have struggled for days with this post...wording and rewording to make sure that my heart is saying what it needs to say. sometimes this blog gets more use than my journal...because its easier to delete and change! so read gently, my friends* </em><br />
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I woke up the other night, not being able to sleep. So many things were being tossed around my head and my heart. As I lay there, I felt like God was saying to me, "What are you lacking, precious one?" <br />
<br />
I felt like I could answer that in a thousand ways! Sometimes, I feel as if I'm lacking everything...<br />
<br />
.lacking <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>faith</strong></span>.<br />
.lacking <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>courage</strong></span>.<br />
.lacking <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>trust</strong></span>.<br />
.lacking <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>finances</strong></span>.<br />
.lacking <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>hope</strong></span>.<br />
.lacking <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>perseverance</strong></span>.<br />
<br />
And at the same time, I knew that the Holy Spirit was whispering to my soul: <br />
<br />
<em>"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4 </em><br />
<br />
I was overwhelmed with the realization that, in Christ, <span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong>I. lack. nothing.</strong></span> God knows what he has called our family to. God knows what we're up against. God knows our hearts. God knows our willingness. God knows our tears. God knows our struggles. God knows our impatience. God knows our trials. God knows our family. And so, even in my moments of doubt, I lack nothing. <br />
<br />
There is no lack of <strong>faith</strong>...for we have faith like a mustard seed. <br />
<br />
There is no lack of <strong>courage</strong>...for in Christ, ALL things are possible. <br />
<br />
There is no lack of <strong>trust</strong>...for our hearts don't lean on our own understanding.<br />
<br />
There is no lack of <strong>finances</strong>...for we know and believe that God has called us according to His purpose and owns the cattle on a thousand hills. <br />
<br />
There is no lack of <strong>hope</strong>...for this is the very essence of Christ in me, the HOPE of glory. <br />
<br />
There is no lack of <strong>perseverance</strong>...for we are in this race until the end. <br />
<br />
I laid there...blown away at my unfaithfulness...ungratefulness...but, at the same time, reveling in His truth. Our lives are the ultimate conundrum sometimes - but oh, how beautiful the mess we've made when we know that He reigns in the midst of it. I have no doubts that I will cross some of these same bridges again, but know that God's grace covers me. My faith is not yet mature and complete...but I strive to be more like Jesus each day. <br />
<br />
And what a better way to drift off to sleep, than to have my Abba Father whisper sweetly to my soul..."With me, precious one, you are lacking nothing..." <br />
<br />
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<em>Lord, I pray that my honest heart...no matter how ugly, raw, unbelieving or beautiful...is better than a hallelujah...</em><br />
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<br />
"run after the things that scare you the most. God is in the deep end." <br />
<br />
what scares me the most right now? stepping out of the boat to reach the outstretched hand of Jesus...meeting us in the midst of our greatest hope.desire.fear.dream. <br />
<br />
<strong>this</strong>: <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">.amazing.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">[this.is.the.church]</div><div align="left"></div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-50791162380288330282011-02-21T22:12:00.001-05:002011-02-21T22:14:54.118-05:00chosen people<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I've been on a Jesus Culture kick lately...if you don't know...I have one word for you: YouTube. <br />
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As C and I were driving today, we were singing along to 'Show Me Your Glory'....the words were over and over..."We belong to You, We belong to You..." and I turned and said to him, "Aren't you glad that we belong to Jesus?" <br />
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He said, with his little fist in the air, "YES!! WE ARE GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE!!" I love him. Really. <br />
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Friends, we are in the midst of beginning great change in our family. I said to one of my dearest friends, <a href="http://forthesakeofone.blogspot.com/">Sarah</a>, this is our battle cry. No matter what, in this process, in everything...we ARE God's chosen people and we WILL see His glory. <br />
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Pray for us...and as always, we'll pray for you. <br />
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<em>Colossians 3:12 ~ Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with <strong>compassion</strong>, kindness, humility, gentleness and <strong>patience</strong>. </em><br />
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</div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-62347071964131864752011-02-01T17:27:00.000-05:002011-02-01T17:27:05.277-05:00honest heart...thoughts from a mom<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">so my little guy is amazing. [so's my big guy, for that matter *smile*] he challenges me on such a regular basis, i don't even know why i'm surprised by it anymore. you can read about the latest one here: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://thespiritualramblingsofa6yearold.blogspot.com/">The Spiritual Ramblings of a 6 Year Old</a><br />
<br />
as i've reflected on the situation, MY heart has really been messed up. i think about c asking for permission for something he knew, more than likely, was not okay. his response, even when the answer was "no", was so honest and pure. i KNOW that i don't deal with many situations in my life like he did. <br />
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~how often do i ask my Heavenly Father is something is permissible? is this television show edifying? is what i'm about to eat because i'm hungry, or is there a deeper issue? do i not ask because i already know the answer...or because i'm afraid it will be an answer i don't like? <br />
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and when God <em>does</em> answer, and that answer is "no"...do i respond with a grateful heart? am i content with His answers? <br />
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these are just a smattering of the questions that are rumbling inside of me as i search to know how honest MY heart really is. pray for me and i'll pray for you as you do the same...</div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-9102533668710143612011-01-04T22:39:00.000-05:002011-01-04T22:39:44.957-05:00also blogging...Because I knew I had to finally take people's advice and start writing this stuff down...we're now blogging also at: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://thespiritualramblingsofa6yearold.blogspot.com/">The Spiritual Ramblings of a 6 Year Old</a><br />
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And I swear. I don't make this stuff up. *wink*Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-2899328936895090282010-12-27T23:09:00.000-05:002010-12-27T23:09:40.719-05:00[quiet moments]This has been a season of great loss for so many people...by God's amazing grace, my family is rejoicing this holiday season in knowing that we are blessed with so much. But ~ I can only imagine that this year certainly hasn't ended how many people pictured it. <br />
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My grandfather is rejoicing in heaven this Christmas...a friend won a long battle with cancer [in heaven]...a series of unexpected losses have brought friends, co-workers and acquaintances to the feet of Jesus. No, none of how this year has ended the way many people expected it to...and yet God alone is Emmanuel, God with us. <br />
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I have often wondered in the days before my papa's heaven-going...if after 65 years of marriage, he and my grandmother held each other in bed and spoke of what was to come. If in the quiet moments they remembered loss and love. victories and defeats. joy and sorrow. What did they whisper in those quiet moments? It is well with my soul? My heart hopes so. <br />
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This season, my mind has often been drawn back to those questions....and other moments. Two thousand years ago, in a corner of a lambing cave in Bethlehem...there were other moments. Holy moments where a mother cradled her son, Emmanuel, with more love than we maybe could ever imagine. In those quiet moments of great joy, I cannot help but wonder what Mary whispered to Jesus. What loss and love mingled together. victories and defeats. joy and sorrow. beauty and pain. I don't know if any of the rest of Mary's life is what she expected. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. But she always had the quiet moments with the King of Kings. <br />
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I pray earnestly that however my year ends...how your year ends...that our quiet moments with Emmanuel are vulnerable. real. beautiful. honest. painful. fruitful. hopeful. He IS with us. <br />
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*love*Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-28913392603774969792010-10-29T22:50:00.000-04:002010-10-29T22:50:31.055-04:00rumblings in my heart...To be darn honest with you, I don't know if anyone still reads our blog since Joshua is home now from Iraq. To be frank...that's kind of okay with me, because now I can let 'er rip with the rumblings and ramblings of my heart and mind. <br />
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I was so blessed today to have lunch with 2 incredible men of God (and a family that I adore) that we worked with in Egypt and Jordan this summer. It brought back to my mind so many of the amazing things that God did during those few weeks... <br />
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newsflash: I always have struggled with insecurity...*like lots of you didn't already know that* Thankfully, God has always given me an abundance of grace on this issue and I constantly have to stay in the Word to speak life and truth in that area. There are so many things I wish were different about the way that much of my life was dealt to me, and while we were teaching the conferences in the Middle East, I felt that compounded in my heart again in a strong way. I love Brenda and Rachel SO much...hear my heart there...but it was almost tangibly painful at times to listen to their testimonies. Their stories of great love, strong family bonds and beauty were almost too much to bear at times. And then...the insecurity began. Because then there was my story. A story of something completely different. A story of emotional abandonment on many levels. A story of brokenness and pain. And as I cried out to God in my heart and prayers, I wondered why? Why wasn't my life picture-perfect like theirs? (please read that with the knowledge that I COMPLETELY know that isn't true--no one's life is picture perfect!!!) And as He began to deal with me...He began to show me incredible truth. The Bible says that He will make known to you the paths of life and will fill you with joy in His presence (Acts 2:28). Isn't that good?! As I prayed over that verse, He began to reveal to me that maybe, just maybe, my story was a story that these women needed to hear, too. Maybe my story was one of hope. of healing. of redemption. And aren't ALL of our stories that? <br />
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One of the most simple and yet profound lessons I took away from this trip was the knowledge that although our stories may begin quite differently...some of them good, some of them hard, some of them heart-breaking, some of them hopeful...we ALL get to end up in the same place because of the love of Christ. And that friends, gives me great hope. great security. I am blessed beyond measure to know that because of the relationship that Joshua and I have with Jesus, we are changing the legacy of our family. So as I am thoughtful tonight, I pray that you all reflect on your stories...our testimonies are some of the most powerful things we'll ever have 'ownership' of. Steward it well. Wherever you began...I pray that Jesus has you ending well. <br />
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*love*<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvp-oQ3No3LIz8B-QBmFxgL7E0HTkdXj0NNFWSz6mz-vVRlQ04A7w5eudGc7FqSVdKlhbVRIW6WyOGH5y7CiqPP4qkzMlzg9N6ci4itc9GQ5qxfZ71kDv5uvyEn9S9iFNgKEnD60sCGeoV/s1600/DSC02940.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvp-oQ3No3LIz8B-QBmFxgL7E0HTkdXj0NNFWSz6mz-vVRlQ04A7w5eudGc7FqSVdKlhbVRIW6WyOGH5y7CiqPP4qkzMlzg9N6ci4itc9GQ5qxfZ71kDv5uvyEn9S9iFNgKEnD60sCGeoV/s320/DSC02940.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center">Rachel, me and Brenda by the Jordan River *about 20 feet from ISRAEL* We would have waded through the river to the other side if it weren't for THIS guy...</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjmwM9OBFze5rJv9q0TmE96oeDJQUGLtSzEh8ydVfIh5DByXH-klhhs2FE_V4Uis9zS9KCVOqjNnu_mNgRuL9oaJmokqIenJazR_4toqcOwSgwtdqf3ghKbeExJNDyxauhc4vphNaufWpY/s1600/DSC02943.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjmwM9OBFze5rJv9q0TmE96oeDJQUGLtSzEh8ydVfIh5DByXH-klhhs2FE_V4Uis9zS9KCVOqjNnu_mNgRuL9oaJmokqIenJazR_4toqcOwSgwtdqf3ghKbeExJNDyxauhc4vphNaufWpY/s320/DSC02943.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center">Don't mind the AK-47 behind his back. *wink* No big deal. </div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-52162667973198059372010-03-26T22:27:00.002-04:002010-03-26T22:31:16.281-04:00Mr. Smart-Guy...<em>Driving in the car on a random day...</em><br /><br />Caleb: Mommy, why do people (ahem...YOU, mommy) yell at other cars while they're driving? <br /><br />Mommy: *sheepishly* Um, because sometimes other cars aren't driving safely and its dangerous if they aren't paying attention. <br /><br />Caleb. So they can hear you?<br /><br />Mommy: Uh....no. <br /><br />Caleb: So why do you yell at them...? <br /><br />Mommy: *eyeballing him in the rear-view mirror* Um...<br /><br />Caleb: *satisfied that he's completely admonished me at this point...ends the conversation* <br /><br /><em>Well, ok...thanks for the kick in the pants, Mr. Smart-Guy...</em>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-81975699737679246342010-01-18T10:29:00.006-05:002011-02-03T21:30:29.936-05:00our heart...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Warning: semi-venting zone...(I don't mean for it to be....I just don't know how else to explain this topic!)<br />
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Its funny to me as we start to explore this adoption journey, how much we have to explain ourselves and our decisions through the process. I suppose sort of a natural curiousness...I also know that many people are asking because they are sincerely praying for us, which is <em>greatly</em> appreciated. Either way, for my sake and peace of mind, I need to blog it out. Here are the top things we've been asked, and hopefully the answers will help make sense of our decisions:<br />
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<strong>Why not just have another baby of your own?</strong><br />
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First of all, we are. We're just choosing to do it another way than most. My personal health problems taken into account, we feel like this is the wisest way for us to build our family at this point. There's all that...AND the fact that we both feel like God is calling us to build our family through adoption.<br />
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<strong>Why do you want to adopt?</strong><br />
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Adoption has been a call on my life for the last 11 years...and J has felt God pulling him in line with that over the last few years. Its been a miraculous thing. There are 143 million orphans in the world...and the Bible says very specifically that it is the responsibility of believers to look after them. We feel that our family has been called in this direction and we will continue to pursue it.<br />
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<strong>Why do you want to adopt internationally?</strong><br />
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Because I have been fortunate enough to travel fairly extensively with missions, I have always had a heart for the world, and have seen real need in many countries. It just feels like a natural fit with God's heart.<br />
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<strong>Why don't you just adopt domestically?</strong><br />
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We did look into it. Unfortunately, the cost is about the same as international adoption...but the unknowns and the ability of birth mothers to change their minds (up to a year after giving up parental rights) was too much for us to want to emotionally handle.<br />
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<strong>What does Caleb think about this?</strong><br />
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Caleb. My sweet little boy...I don't think that we could have been blessed with a more sensitive, sweet-spirited son. He is smart, and self-aware, and has such a neat perspective on the world. When I went to Cambodia in 2007, he would pray for the children there at night. When our church began the Clear Blue Water project, he wanted to take home a bottle to put coins in, because he can't understand someone not being able to have water when they want it. When he learned about the earthquake in Haiti, he asks continuous questions about them. When we talked with him about God choosing a brother or sister for him through adoption, he had questions, and we did our best to answer them. He's excited about the entire process...and could care less if they look like him, because he loves them already.<br />
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<strong>Where are you now in the process?</strong><br />
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Right now, we are looking into a new agency that comes very highly recommended...and they have a lot of other programs aside from just adoption that sit well with my spirit. They support orphan care year-round, have several sponsorship programs, and a missions program that runs continuously. We are currently seeking God for direction on 2 specific countries, and won't say much more until we feel His confirmation. A lot depends on timing, work situations (my job doesn't have adoption/parental leave....well, it does....but its not good), finances, etc. Either way, we believe in a big God that has big plans for our family...and we trust Him entirely with that. Will some question our decisions? Probably. And that will probably always be the case, but we stand firm knowing the promises that God has called us to, and we will be as faithful to this calling as possible.<br />
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There. I feel better. :-) Will I have to answer these questions again? Maybe. But I think that covers the basics for now. I hope that as you read that, you didn't read it with a critical spirit, for that certainly wasn't my intent. For the most part, everyone we know has been supportive and prayerful with and for us. I just know that as we choose to do something considered a bit outside the box...people will have questions. I just hope those answers are good enough, because they are all I have! Feel free to email me and ask more!!</div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-33475079070859061322010-01-10T19:22:00.002-05:002010-01-10T19:23:28.865-05:00the end.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUENfylu9rJvUMKn8BtYIp5YlM2uCsdiQWV1vBYlrc9h926O1-nU5K3jD1Oyum_4LFzSVHO10l0aoYOkZdJkXwIdfPaozKmjkZd3FPo0KNCii3JHYV0dTkitCrMg2MfMaUEB0wtT2tD_02/s1600-h/Worth+Waiting+For.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 224px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425271179550568866" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUENfylu9rJvUMKn8BtYIp5YlM2uCsdiQWV1vBYlrc9h926O1-nU5K3jD1Oyum_4LFzSVHO10l0aoYOkZdJkXwIdfPaozKmjkZd3FPo0KNCii3JHYV0dTkitCrMg2MfMaUEB0wtT2tD_02/s320/Worth+Waiting+For.jpg" /></a><br /><strong><em><span style="color:#cc0000;">and the beginning...</span></em></strong><br /><div></div>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-77713979746293715152009-12-06T22:21:00.003-05:002009-12-06T22:45:29.933-05:00a hodge-podge of emotion...The end is near! There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Aren't you excited? Its almost over! I'll bet you can't wait! <br /><br />...all of these are exclamations of excitement I hear daily from those around me. Of course all of those things are true, but for some reason, I have been struggling to find comfort in them. I was beginning to feel bad for my annoyance at hearing these statements...until a friend put a fantastic analogy that fit perfectly for my feelings. <br /><br />She said that this time is like the end of a long car ride on vacation. Its like being on hour 23 of 24 in the car....anticipating what's ahead....and yet ready to scream and jump out of the window....all at the same time. YES!!! That's so it. So if I've been on the receiving end of one of your well-intended comments....thank you. :-) And I love you for it. <br /><br /><br />As I look back, this year has been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Together and apart, J and I have struggled to understand our new roles and duties, and thrive in them~how to communicate effectively from a distance, and learned how to truly understand~wrestled with our faith, and have been humbled a thousand times~been dealt blows to our health, from a miscarriage that was unexpected, to surgeries for Caleb and me, to teeny flu bugs, only to know Christ's grace and healing~accepted many blessings from neighbors and old friends~cried endless nights from lonliness, only to be enveloped in a Father's love~fought through emotional problems with Caleb, and found support and creative solutions......I could go on and on and on.....but I think we have come through the other side changed people. Strong. Whole. Grateful. Full of joy.<br /><br />So to all of YOU, thank you. Your constant and unwavering support, encouragement, prayers, assistance and love have kept us sane this year (especially me!). :-) Whether you feel as if you have done a lot, or very little....know that it has <strong><em>all</em></strong> been deeply felt by Joshua, Caleb and myself...and we cannot express our appreciation sufficiently. You have been the hands and feet of the body of Christ to us in a tangible way, and it was and is beautiful...<br /><br />To my husband...I love you and am ever proud. <br /><br />To my Abba Father...I stand amazed. <br /><br />*love*Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4446220341724888571.post-80600186702945938532009-11-04T22:45:00.002-05:002009-11-04T23:07:10.696-05:00ruined.Whoa. <br /><br />Whoa is not an exclamation that comes often from my lips. Its something more that draws itself out of my soul...when I am deeply moved...touched...stirred...so I hope this rambling turns itself into a cohesive thought process by the end. <br /><br />Went tonight to see the much anticipated i-heart documentary by Hillsong United. It was so well done, so professional, so thoughtful, so creative, so artsy, so intellectual, so whoa. So Jesus. I don't think I can form a more complete thought or sentence at this point about the film, but it totally brought me back to a place...a place I may have shared about before, but it was so tangible tonight...<br /><br />...when we were in Cambodia 2 years ago, I remember the frustration and feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the need that we were surrounded by. It often felt like we were completely insignificant in our sincere desire to bring love.hope.truth. to these people. (much of the movie focused on this...) <br /><br />And one night, I remember having the girls climb into the van before me, and this woman approached...begging. I remember vividly the look of desperation in her eyes, as she shuffled towards us...her infant wrapped in nothing more than a rag...naked. Everything inside of me broke at that moment. <br /><br />A rush of emotions flooded me...because this time, it was different. <br /><br />This time, I was a wife.<br /><br />...a mom. <br /><br />And I couldn't reconcile the feelings within me of the utter despair she must've been feeling. To beg on the street. To not be able to provide for her child. To be willing to give up the last bit of pride and independence she must've once felt in order to survive. <br /><br />This <em>is</em> the world. This <em>is</em> reality. This is what we so often teach ourselves to turn a blind eye from. <br /><br />And in that moment, I saw the neediest, most broken soul. <br /><br />And I also saw the face of God. <br /><br />To know that He also gave up his Son for Love. For us. To know that in the darkest of places, He always offers Hope. Life. Peace. <br /><br />Friends, there IS a revolution going on. Its stirring in the hearts of the innocent. the broken. the redeemed. The Church. <br /><br />I can't imagine anything I want to be a part of more...its ruined me for life...and I love it. <br /><br /><em>"You may choose to look the other way, but you may never again say that you did not know." ~William Wilberforce</em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br />Check it out: <br /><a href="http://www.i-heart.org/">www.i-heart.org</a>Carr525http://www.blogger.com/profile/14177101448063660959noreply@blogger.com1