Mizpah

Old News, New News....

2012-01-12T22:37:00.004-05:00

Please forgive the hodge-podge of thoughts, random jumblings, and musings of my mind...this is how it came out...

For those that maybe missed the memo *wink*...

We're having a baby!! (in about 12 -15 months...)

We were in such a season of discouragement - waiting. Spinning our wheels. A dear new friend counseled me one night. She told me that I needed to grieve for my expectation of how I thought this process would go. I needed to stop worrying about "stepping off the boat" and sit down and row for a while. We needed to rest. We needed to lay down our hearts, expectations, and hope at the feet of Jesus. Because even though He is the God of hope - He was not our focus. And He wanted to be. It was such a sweet, bitter, painful revelation...but those are the ones that bring about the most growth.

So, refocused after that season, we jumped in with both feet. Jesus moved in so many ways...showed himself faithful through others when I was feeling faith-less. He revealed what family is in a beautiful way. And now? We. Are. Ready.

And by ready....I mean a mess some days. Lemme tell ya. Adoption is hard. And super awesome. J and I laugh all the time about how adoption babymaking is sooooooo different than the babymaking we know. Don't blush. It is. I'll be straight here...sex is WAY more fun than filling out paperwork. For reals. Don't judge me. We know the outcome of all the paperwork. We know the purpose, the beauty and the reality of it all will be wrapped up in our beautiful baby girl.

But seriously. See for yourself:

Old school babymaking

sex
uh...yeah. that's it.

(***PLEASE know that this is sooooo tongue-in-cheek. It is our experience only. It is not meant to make light of the struggles of those that adopt because of infertility, miscarriage and great loss. We were in that boat, too...and understand to some degree...what your journey looks like.***)

Adoption babymaking

Applications - for home study agency and int'l agency
sex
Home study (4 interviews)
Adoption petition
Financial application
lovin'
Medical physicals (x2)
Blood work
Fire inspection
Fire evacuation plan/extinguisher
Employer verifications
Financial statements
Documents (birth, marriage, etc.)
Passports
sex
notarization
USCIS I800A forms
smoochin' (I said, don't judge me! He's cute...what do you want from me?!)
certification of forms
Fingerprints
Emailing caseworkers
Police Clearances
Child Abuse clearances - OH/TX
References (x5)
12 hours of parent training (each)
Well water inspection test
Writing checks
Going to ~~living at~~ the post office
Researching/hiring a courier service
......

I'm sure I'm forgetting something. But I think you get it. :-)

Friends, this is an intentional process. Adoption by its very nature is intentional. When God says in Ephesians and Psalms and Hosea and James and all throughout the Word that He adopted US into His family through our salvation...that He places the lonely in families....that in Him the orphan finds a home....that pure religion is one that looks after orphans - it all leads to an intentional God. I for one am humbled to know that the God of the universe...He wanted me. It brings tears to my eyes. It overwhelms my heart. God, that we may ALL know such love.

Church, this is our call. For Joshua and I, personally, it was a very real call. One we couldn't ignore.

This is our moment...as a church. As a family.

I have been SO challenged lately by David Platt, author of Radical. He very matter-of-factly says that Christians are so quick to claim the promises of the Word, such as, "Come to me all of you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest..." Those promises are for them. We own them. We proclaim them with conviction. But we are quick to dismiss mandates like the Great Commission - to go into all the world, or the outline in James 1:27 - to look after orphans and widows. Those are only for those that are "called." Friends, we are all called. We are called holy, dearly loved, sons and daughters...we are called.

It might begin as a whisper. It might begin like a thunderclap. But we are called.

Now hear my heart here. I am challenged by this as much as you might be. There is no judgement here. Search your heart. Seek after Christ. What does that mean for you? Should you open your home to foster? Is your family in a place to adopt? Can you provide respite, or meals, for a family that can or is? Is it time to see the world, God's world, on a mission trip? Working with the least of these? Can you financially provide for someone else to go and pray for them? Is there a talent that you have that you can use creatively for the Lord? Is your church in need of volunteers in the children's ministry or ushers or greeters? Is it time for you to tithe regularly and faithfully and with great joy?

Be intentional in this new year. Don't dismiss the promises and mandates of the Word.

They're for you.

They're for me.

They're for all of us.

And I think what we find that in giving ourselves away to the Lord with intention...we find out that WE are the ones being filled and blessed in return.

God is good. All the time.

And all the time...? (Let's hear it, friends...!!)

run for it!

2011-12-12T16:55:00.000-05:00

Some of you know me. I mean, REALLY know me. And although I'm really all about being healthy, I exercise very, um, infrequently. I mean, come on...who has time?

Unfortuntately for me, this summer, I did. Had lots of time. So I decided to sign up for my first 5K. (please keep your laughing to a minimum) A local orphan care ministry was having a fundraiser - and if there was any reason to get me to run - this was it. I typically say that I don't run unless someone is chasing me with a sharp object. Or a Diet Coke. Then I'll run. ;-)

So, I roped my older sister into the race with me, and Caleb joined in the fun, too.

So, without further ado...

Here comes Caleb!

He ran a 1 mile race...he was the 1st place finisher for boys!

Here we go!

You don't need to know our time, right? ;-)

We finished!

And while we didn't win anything crazy, we all finished, and I was super proud to have reached a goal that I had been working towards. We didn't just run for us, and that's what made it feel best of all.

We ran for the fatherless.

We ran for friends who are adopting.

We ran for our new godson/nephew/cousin Levi.

We ran for our little one.

Here we come, baby girl. We're "running for it"...

To be honest and all.

2011-10-24T18:33:00.000-04:00

Friends, this is so long overdue, I feel I need to write to purge my soul and apologize, all at the same time! I used to write and journal for myself...and I often feel like I have time for everything BUT myself as of late. I am making no promises that the journey will continue to be regular, but I will promise for it to be honest!

I know so many of you continue to read our blog to follow our adoption journey. That journey is long and difficult and it seems to have come to a stall. We have been waiting for 6 months...well, make that 14 years...but on a "real" waiting list for 6 months - simply for an application. A piece of paper. Something that says, yes...we'll consider you a family worth investing in a forever for. The call to adopt is never one that we will question...but the process...oh, the process...

We have been through things that many families have struggled with - marital growing pains, sudden deployment, miscarriage, financial setbacks, job issues, etc. - and we are blessed that God continues to show himself strong in the midst of that AND in bringing glory to himself. We have laughed and cried with many of you as we have been able to share our story of redemption and healing and believe that God works through those conversations. We have rejoiced in the inexplicable joy of dear friends expanding their families through their bellies and their hearts.

But we continue to wait.

Its hard and it hurts and its ugly and it sucks. To be honest and all.

And some days its beautiful and its just fine and sometimes its full of hope and promise. To be honest and all.

Many of you know our hearts and have walked this process with us for a few years now as it has ebbed and flowed in its own way. We thank you because there are times I feel we couldn't live without your encouragement. Right now, after a long journey in the desert, I feel that hope is rising in my own heart again. That God is on the move. His faithfulness is astounding and His promises are true. My heart is believing it.

I don't know what the journey looks like from here...but I have some good perspective. The sun is rising on the side of the mountain that I am climbing and the light can be blinding. But we are never walking alone.

“They say Aslan is on the move - perhaps has already landed.”

And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Chapter 7

I love that. To be honest and all. <3

struggling

2011-08-15T23:19:00.001-04:00

"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6:33

Friends, pray for me. I am so struggling right now...

Gonna be honest about where my heart is - I'm praying that prayer up there...but backwards. I want the "all things added to me" before I am seeking God and his will. That's an ugly realization. I think I have gotten so consumed by the adoption, family circumstances, etc...I have been "seeking" God's will on those things and allowed my simple desire for God, and God alone, to get lost in the shuffle. Now, I certainly don't want you to think I've gone all 'heathen' on you...that's not the case. Just a good swift kick in my own pants about my priorities. I want to desire him above everything else.

My blog friend, Jennifer, wrote the most incredible post about this...I hope you'll head over and be encouraged!!

Perspective.

2011-08-06T22:19:00.000-04:00

Welp, J's gone for two weeks. The Army calls...and we're gonna miss him!!

Caleb put it very well yesterday. He very thoughtfully said, after I asked how he was doing with daddy leaving, "Well...daddy was gone for a whole year before. Yeah, I can do two more weeks. I can do two weeks." He nodded for just a bit more affirmation.

I think we can do it too, mister...

speechless

2011-06-17T18:34:00.000-04:00

There's a song I have long loved by Steven Curtis Chapman, and its words have been echoing through my brain these last few weeks.

"Oh how great is the love
The father has lavished upon us
That we should be called
The sons and the daughters of god

We are speechless so amazed
We stand in awe of your grace
We stand in awe of your mercy
You have saved us
We stand in awe of your love
From the grave
We are speechless

We are speechless in your presence now
We stand in awe of your cross
We're astounded as we consider how
We stand in awe of your power
You have shown us
A love that leaves us speechless
We are speechless"

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Joshua and I have said that we truly feel that we've "stepped off the boat" when it comes to the adoption. We believe that even with all of the uncertainty with time frames, etc....God is truly meeting us there...in the midst of the storm and doubt and renewing our faith. Our faith in Him. Our faith in others' love and faithfulness. Yes, we ARE speechless.

Our first fundraiser - our yard sale - was a wonderful success! THANK YOU to everyone who donated items, dropped things off, let us borrow your truck for weeks (Neal!), and served with us selflessly for 2 days (my sisters and brother-in-law, Josh and Annie, Tina, Stephanie, the Crosiers...I hope I didn't forget anyone!!). It truly was a fish and loaves experience...I have never seen so much stuff! I have also never been so blessed by the goodness of loved ones and strangers. In 2 days, we were able to raise $2,129! Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Our Leaves of Love fundraiser is also going well. I'll post more on that later! So far, that has raised about $600!!

So, all said, between the two fundraisers and our saving, pinching and being as wise as we can be, our adoption account is at: $4,232.05.

Speechless. God is SO good!!

School's Out For Summer...

2011-06-12T16:44:00.000-04:00

Wish I could follow that line up with "School's out forever", but alas, it is not to be so. :-) Just kidding ~ I SO love my job. That being said though, with summer's arrival, my blog hiatus is up!

I have lots to share to get you up to speed on our lives...We'll be back soon! Stay tuned!

*love*

Carr Family Update

2011-05-01T20:39:00.001-04:00

Dear Friends and Family,

Wow…where to begin?! This will be your Christmas-in-Spring letter…times a million! J We hope this letter finds you well! It has been a crazy couple of years for the Carr’s! Joshua was gone all of 2009 in Iraq, but came home safely to us, and 2010 was a year of immense gratefulness for our family. 2011 has so far been exceptionally full of blessings as well…

· Joshua continues to work at the YMCA in Cuyahoga Falls as the Associate Executive Director. He works part-time at the Beacon Journal (local newspaper) in the sports department 3 nights a week, and also is still a ‘weekend warrior’ with the National Guard. Joshua also works with senior high youth group at our church and is on the leadership board as a delegate. He’s sort of our super star.

· Meg is in her 3^rd year teaching at Roberts Middle School in Cuyahoga Falls. She’s the goofiest 6^th grade Social Studies teacher they have…and loves her job. Meg also works with the senior high youth group, and especially loves meeting with and mentoring young girls.

· Caleb is finishing up kindergarten. He is working hard on reading, learning math skills, and loves art. He has tried his hand on a t-ball, soccer and basketball team. Caleb is also on our church dance team and loves to worship!

Even though we’ve painted a picture-perfect idea of what life has been like for us lately, the last few years has also come with difficulties; job worries, health concerns, loss of loved ones, etc. Through it all, God has been faithful and has shown our family great things. Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” One of those things is what we want to share with you today. Over the last few years, Joshua and I have felt very strongly on our hearts that we were supposed to adopt. This was never a “Plan B” for our family – it was always something we felt God leading us to, but were not sure of the timing. Though we can no longer have biological children of our own, the three of us feel that as a family, we are blessed to proceed with a process that we know is close to the heart of God. Many people may have questions about what we’re doing, so we’d like to answer some of them. If you have more, please feel free to call or email us!

Joshua: yoshjac@yahoo.com 330.327.7700

Meg: megan.carr25@gmail.com 330.962.4787

Why adoption? Again, biologically, we cannot have more children. This has been so difficult emotionally, but we always knew we would adopt. The Bible talks about adoption in a myriad of ways, most of them being that God is a father to the fatherless, and that we ALL have been adopted into His family through our salvation. Some of the most notable adoptees in the Bible were Jesus himself (with Joseph as his adopted earthly father) and Moses (adopted by the pharaoh of Egypt!). We feel that adoption is a directive of the gospel, and while people play different parts in that role, we feel that our role is to be the adoptive family.

Domestic or International? We have decided together (all three of us!) to adopt internationally. Right now, we are looking at Asia. There are many reasons for this, and you are welcome to ask away! The best way we can explain it is that we know God’s heart is for the world – and so is ours. There are 145 million orphans in the world and we know that we are able to help at least one of them! Many Asian countries have up to a 53% abortion rate, because it is considered shameful to have children out of wedlock. Adoption domestically there is also not widely accepted. We feel very strongly that adoption not feel like a ‘business’, but as a way for many like-minded people to work together to form families, and so we are excited to work with a ministry as opposed to an agency. (Many people want to know why we did not consider domestic adoption, and the best answer is – we did – but we feel, for a variety of reasons, that this is the best option for us.)

How long does it take? That’s a tricky question. J We sure wish it was quick and easy, but for things to be ethical, we know that this will certainly be a process.

Why is it so expensive? People assume so many things about the cost of adoption, such as domestic adoptions being more inexpensive than international (which actually isn’t true), that we must be rich (NOT true! *laughing*), or that we will be writing one big check to our adoption agency and that's the end of that. None of these statements could be farther from the truth! There are fees associated with our applications, country, orphanage, home study, legal documents, notarization, translating, background checks, fingerprinting, travel, visas, and more. We'll certainly be writing checks to our agency, but our money will also be flowing into our local and state governments and various institutions in Asia. While we understand the exceptional cost, we also understand the exceptional way that God provides! We are saving, planning and working to make sure that this happens! We currently have the following fundraisers planned, with more in the works:

Leaves of Love Tree – ongoing
Friends and Family Garage Sale – May
Dinner Theater – October (tentative date)

How can we help? Lots of people have asked how they can help, which blesses us SO much! We love that adoption is a collective effort – very much what the Body of Christ represents. We need prayer, first and foremost! Prayer for our family, the process itself, and our little one. We need donations and/or volunteers for our garage sale in May. Also, we would LOVE to have you be a part of our Leaves of Love Tree!

If you live close, and have items you would like to donate to our garage sale, feel free to email or call us to set up a time to drop off your items.

If you decide to donate to our Leaves of Love Tree, you can mail us your donation:

Joshua and Meg Carr

1406 Greensburg Road
Uniontown, Ohio 44685

Thank you all SO much!

Leaves of Love

The idea behind Leaves of Love was created by an adoptive family. They send us a 24 x 36 print of the image you see above, with enough room for 100 – 150 thumbprints. We are hoping to have people donate $10 or more for our “family tree”, and for each donation, we will add a thumbprint with their name, or special verse, etc. onto our tree. Our hope is to have it framed and placed in our baby’s room as a reminder of the family that created, loved, prayed for, and helped bring her home. If you would like to help us with this, we would be SO grateful!

We will be posting progress on our Tree, fundraising, events, process, etc. on our blog. We would love it if you followed along with us. We are honored to call you all family, friends and loved ones.

it IS a Good Friday...

2011-04-22T11:49:00.001-04:00

beautiful things

2011-04-10T22:33:00.000-04:00

our pastor is one of the most amazing women I've ever met. she's doing a series right now called "beautiful things", and in light of where we are in life right now, its perfect. sermon notes from today:

ecclesiastes 3:11 (one of my FAVE verses ever) ~ "He has made everything beautiful in its itme. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Beauty is subjective.
Our ideas about beauty can be terribly flawed.
Beauty is not always practical.
Beauty originates in God.
Beautiful things inspire honor and admiration.
Beautiful things touch the soul.
Beautiful things are born of sacrifice (I LOVE this one...the 'ouchy' ones are the best!!!)
Beautiful things point to a Creator and a Redeemer.

my mind couldn't help but wander after each point to adoption...because it is such a beautiful thing. it is such a beautiful thing to realize that our salvation begins and ends in adoption as God brings us into His everlasting family. what a stunning act of sacrifice and love. i also thought of my marriage, my family, my mess of a life that He makes beautiful each day...

.i am overwhelmed by beauty.

i know i've been posting lots of songs lately, but this one has SO ministered to me. i love the words in the song: "remind me You take broken things and turn them into beautiful..."

praying for beautiful days ahead for you, friends...

lacking nothing

2011-03-20T23:13:00.001-04:00

*i have struggled for days with this post...wording and rewording to make sure that my heart is saying what it needs to say. sometimes this blog gets more use than my journal...because its easier to delete and change! so read gently, my friends*

I woke up the other night, not being able to sleep. So many things were being tossed around my head and my heart. As I lay there, I felt like God was saying to me, "What are you lacking, precious one?"

I felt like I could answer that in a thousand ways! Sometimes, I feel as if I'm lacking everything...

.lacking faith.
.lacking courage.
.lacking trust.
.lacking finances.
.lacking hope.
.lacking perseverance.

And at the same time, I knew that the Holy Spirit was whispering to my soul:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4

I was overwhelmed with the realization that, in Christ, I. lack. nothing. God knows what he has called our family to. God knows what we're up against. God knows our hearts. God knows our willingness. God knows our tears. God knows our struggles. God knows our impatience. God knows our trials. God knows our family. And so, even in my moments of doubt, I lack nothing.

There is no lack of faith...for we have faith like a mustard seed.

There is no lack of courage...for in Christ, ALL things are possible.

There is no lack of trust...for our hearts don't lean on our own understanding.

There is no lack of finances...for we know and believe that God has called us according to His purpose and owns the cattle on a thousand hills.

There is no lack of hope...for this is the very essence of Christ in me, the HOPE of glory.

There is no lack of perseverance...for we are in this race until the end.

I laid there...blown away at my unfaithfulness...ungratefulness...but, at the same time, reveling in His truth. Our lives are the ultimate conundrum sometimes - but oh, how beautiful the mess we've made when we know that He reigns in the midst of it. I have no doubts that I will cross some of these same bridges again, but know that God's grace covers me. My faith is not yet mature and complete...but I strive to be more like Jesus each day.

And what a better way to drift off to sleep, than to have my Abba Father whisper sweetly to my soul..."With me, precious one, you are lacking nothing..."

Lord, I pray that my honest heart...no matter how ugly, raw, unbelieving or beautiful...is better than a hallelujah...

children of God

2011-03-19T11:29:00.000-04:00

totally challenged this morning....

"run after the things that scare you the most. God is in the deep end."

what scares me the most right now? stepping out of the boat to reach the outstretched hand of Jesus...meeting us in the midst of our greatest hope.desire.fear.dream.

this:

.amazing.

[this.is.the.church]

chosen people

2011-02-21T22:12:00.001-05:00

I've been on a Jesus Culture kick lately...if you don't know...I have one word for you: YouTube.

As C and I were driving today, we were singing along to 'Show Me Your Glory'....the words were over and over..."We belong to You, We belong to You..." and I turned and said to him, "Aren't you glad that we belong to Jesus?"

He said, with his little fist in the air, "YES!! WE ARE GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE!!" I love him. Really.

Friends, we are in the midst of beginning great change in our family. I said to one of my dearest friends, Sarah, this is our battle cry. No matter what, in this process, in everything...we ARE God's chosen people and we WILL see His glory.

Pray for us...and as always, we'll pray for you.

Colossians 3:12 ~ Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

honest heart...thoughts from a mom

2011-02-01T17:27:00.000-05:00

so my little guy is amazing. [so's my big guy, for that matter *smile*] he challenges me on such a regular basis, i don't even know why i'm surprised by it anymore. you can read about the latest one here:

The Spiritual Ramblings of a 6 Year Old

as i've reflected on the situation, MY heart has really been messed up. i think about c asking for permission for something he knew, more than likely, was not okay. his response, even when the answer was "no", was so honest and pure. i KNOW that i don't deal with many situations in my life like he did.

~how often do i ask my Heavenly Father is something is permissible? is this television show edifying? is what i'm about to eat because i'm hungry, or is there a deeper issue? do i not ask because i already know the answer...or because i'm afraid it will be an answer i don't like?

and when God does answer, and that answer is "no"...do i respond with a grateful heart? am i content with His answers?

these are just a smattering of the questions that are rumbling inside of me as i search to know how honest MY heart really is. pray for me and i'll pray for you as you do the same...

also blogging...

2011-01-04T22:39:00.000-05:00

Because I knew I had to finally take people's advice and start writing this stuff down...we're now blogging also at:

The Spiritual Ramblings of a 6 Year Old

And I swear. I don't make this stuff up. *wink*

[quiet moments]

2010-12-27T23:09:00.000-05:00

This has been a season of great loss for so many people...by God's amazing grace, my family is rejoicing this holiday season in knowing that we are blessed with so much. But ~ I can only imagine that this year certainly hasn't ended how many people pictured it.

My grandfather is rejoicing in heaven this Christmas...a friend won a long battle with cancer [in heaven]...a series of unexpected losses have brought friends, co-workers and acquaintances to the feet of Jesus. No, none of how this year has ended the way many people expected it to...and yet God alone is Emmanuel, God with us.

I have often wondered in the days before my papa's heaven-going...if after 65 years of marriage, he and my grandmother held each other in bed and spoke of what was to come. If in the quiet moments they remembered loss and love. victories and defeats. joy and sorrow. What did they whisper in those quiet moments? It is well with my soul? My heart hopes so.

This season, my mind has often been drawn back to those questions....and other moments. Two thousand years ago, in a corner of a lambing cave in Bethlehem...there were other moments. Holy moments where a mother cradled her son, Emmanuel, with more love than we maybe could ever imagine. In those quiet moments of great joy, I cannot help but wonder what Mary whispered to Jesus. What loss and love mingled together. victories and defeats. joy and sorrow. beauty and pain. I don't know if any of the rest of Mary's life is what she expected. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. But she always had the quiet moments with the King of Kings.

I pray earnestly that however my year ends...how your year ends...that our quiet moments with Emmanuel are vulnerable. real. beautiful. honest. painful. fruitful. hopeful. He IS with us.

*love*

rumblings in my heart...

2010-10-29T22:50:00.000-04:00

To be darn honest with you, I don't know if anyone still reads our blog since Joshua is home now from Iraq. To be frank...that's kind of okay with me, because now I can let 'er rip with the rumblings and ramblings of my heart and mind.

I was so blessed today to have lunch with 2 incredible men of God (and a family that I adore) that we worked with in Egypt and Jordan this summer. It brought back to my mind so many of the amazing things that God did during those few weeks...

newsflash: I always have struggled with insecurity...*like lots of you didn't already know that* Thankfully, God has always given me an abundance of grace on this issue and I constantly have to stay in the Word to speak life and truth in that area. There are so many things I wish were different about the way that much of my life was dealt to me, and while we were teaching the conferences in the Middle East, I felt that compounded in my heart again in a strong way. I love Brenda and Rachel SO much...hear my heart there...but it was almost tangibly painful at times to listen to their testimonies. Their stories of great love, strong family bonds and beauty were almost too much to bear at times. And then...the insecurity began. Because then there was my story. A story of something completely different. A story of emotional abandonment on many levels. A story of brokenness and pain. And as I cried out to God in my heart and prayers, I wondered why? Why wasn't my life picture-perfect like theirs? (please read that with the knowledge that I COMPLETELY know that isn't true--no one's life is picture perfect!!!) And as He began to deal with me...He began to show me incredible truth. The Bible says that He will make known to you the paths of life and will fill you with joy in His presence (Acts 2:28). Isn't that good?! As I prayed over that verse, He began to reveal to me that maybe, just maybe, my story was a story that these women needed to hear, too. Maybe my story was one of hope. of healing. of redemption. And aren't ALL of our stories that?

One of the most simple and yet profound lessons I took away from this trip was the knowledge that although our stories may begin quite differently...some of them good, some of them hard, some of them heart-breaking, some of them hopeful...we ALL get to end up in the same place because of the love of Christ. And that friends, gives me great hope. great security. I am blessed beyond measure to know that because of the relationship that Joshua and I have with Jesus, we are changing the legacy of our family. So as I am thoughtful tonight, I pray that you all reflect on your stories...our testimonies are some of the most powerful things we'll ever have 'ownership' of. Steward it well. Wherever you began...I pray that Jesus has you ending well.

*love*

Rachel, me and Brenda by the Jordan River *about 20 feet from ISRAEL* We would have waded through the river to the other side if it weren't for THIS guy...

Don't mind the AK-47 behind his back. *wink* No big deal.

Mr. Smart-Guy...

2010-03-26T22:27:00.002-04:00

Driving in the car on a random day...

Caleb: Mommy, why do people (ahem...YOU, mommy) yell at other cars while they're driving?

Mommy: *sheepishly* Um, because sometimes other cars aren't driving safely and its dangerous if they aren't paying attention.

Caleb. So they can hear you?

Mommy: Uh....no.

Caleb: So why do you yell at them...?

Mommy: *eyeballing him in the rear-view mirror* Um...

Caleb: *satisfied that he's completely admonished me at this point...ends the conversation*

Well, ok...thanks for the kick in the pants, Mr. Smart-Guy...

our heart...

2010-01-18T10:29:00.006-05:00

Warning: semi-venting zone...(I don't mean for it to be....I just don't know how else to explain this topic!)

Its funny to me as we start to explore this adoption journey, how much we have to explain ourselves and our decisions through the process. I suppose sort of a natural curiousness...I also know that many people are asking because they are sincerely praying for us, which is greatly appreciated. Either way, for my sake and peace of mind, I need to blog it out. Here are the top things we've been asked, and hopefully the answers will help make sense of our decisions:

Why not just have another baby of your own?

First of all, we are. We're just choosing to do it another way than most. My personal health problems taken into account, we feel like this is the wisest way for us to build our family at this point. There's all that...AND the fact that we both feel like God is calling us to build our family through adoption.

Why do you want to adopt?

Adoption has been a call on my life for the last 11 years...and J has felt God pulling him in line with that over the last few years. Its been a miraculous thing. There are 143 million orphans in the world...and the Bible says very specifically that it is the responsibility of believers to look after them. We feel that our family has been called in this direction and we will continue to pursue it.

Why do you want to adopt internationally?

Because I have been fortunate enough to travel fairly extensively with missions, I have always had a heart for the world, and have seen real need in many countries. It just feels like a natural fit with God's heart.

Why don't you just adopt domestically?

We did look into it. Unfortunately, the cost is about the same as international adoption...but the unknowns and the ability of birth mothers to change their minds (up to a year after giving up parental rights) was too much for us to want to emotionally handle.

What does Caleb think about this?

Caleb. My sweet little boy...I don't think that we could have been blessed with a more sensitive, sweet-spirited son. He is smart, and self-aware, and has such a neat perspective on the world. When I went to Cambodia in 2007, he would pray for the children there at night. When our church began the Clear Blue Water project, he wanted to take home a bottle to put coins in, because he can't understand someone not being able to have water when they want it. When he learned about the earthquake in Haiti, he asks continuous questions about them. When we talked with him about God choosing a brother or sister for him through adoption, he had questions, and we did our best to answer them. He's excited about the entire process...and could care less if they look like him, because he loves them already.

Where are you now in the process?

Right now, we are looking into a new agency that comes very highly recommended...and they have a lot of other programs aside from just adoption that sit well with my spirit. They support orphan care year-round, have several sponsorship programs, and a missions program that runs continuously. We are currently seeking God for direction on 2 specific countries, and won't say much more until we feel His confirmation. A lot depends on timing, work situations (my job doesn't have adoption/parental leave....well, it does....but its not good), finances, etc. Either way, we believe in a big God that has big plans for our family...and we trust Him entirely with that. Will some question our decisions? Probably. And that will probably always be the case, but we stand firm knowing the promises that God has called us to, and we will be as faithful to this calling as possible.

There. I feel better. :-) Will I have to answer these questions again? Maybe. But I think that covers the basics for now. I hope that as you read that, you didn't read it with a critical spirit, for that certainly wasn't my intent. For the most part, everyone we know has been supportive and prayerful with and for us. I just know that as we choose to do something considered a bit outside the box...people will have questions. I just hope those answers are good enough, because they are all I have! Feel free to email me and ask more!!

the end.

2010-01-10T19:22:00.002-05:00

and the beginning...

a hodge-podge of emotion...

2009-12-06T22:21:00.003-05:00

The end is near! There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Aren't you excited? Its almost over! I'll bet you can't wait!

...all of these are exclamations of excitement I hear daily from those around me. Of course all of those things are true, but for some reason, I have been struggling to find comfort in them. I was beginning to feel bad for my annoyance at hearing these statements...until a friend put a fantastic analogy that fit perfectly for my feelings.

She said that this time is like the end of a long car ride on vacation. Its like being on hour 23 of 24 in the car....anticipating what's ahead....and yet ready to scream and jump out of the window....all at the same time. YES!!! That's so it. So if I've been on the receiving end of one of your well-intended comments....thank you. :-) And I love you for it.

As I look back, this year has been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Together and apart, J and I have struggled to understand our new roles and duties, and thrive in them~how to communicate effectively from a distance, and learned how to truly understand~wrestled with our faith, and have been humbled a thousand times~been dealt blows to our health, from a miscarriage that was unexpected, to surgeries for Caleb and me, to teeny flu bugs, only to know Christ's grace and healing~accepted many blessings from neighbors and old friends~cried endless nights from lonliness, only to be enveloped in a Father's love~fought through emotional problems with Caleb, and found support and creative solutions......I could go on and on and on.....but I think we have come through the other side changed people. Strong. Whole. Grateful. Full of joy.

So to all of YOU, thank you. Your constant and unwavering support, encouragement, prayers, assistance and love have kept us sane this year (especially me!). :-) Whether you feel as if you have done a lot, or very little....know that it has all been deeply felt by Joshua, Caleb and myself...and we cannot express our appreciation sufficiently. You have been the hands and feet of the body of Christ to us in a tangible way, and it was and is beautiful...

To my husband...I love you and am ever proud.

To my Abba Father...I stand amazed.

*love*

ruined.

2009-11-04T22:45:00.002-05:00

Whoa.

Whoa is not an exclamation that comes often from my lips. Its something more that draws itself out of my soul...when I am deeply moved...touched...stirred...so I hope this rambling turns itself into a cohesive thought process by the end.

Went tonight to see the much anticipated i-heart documentary by Hillsong United. It was so well done, so professional, so thoughtful, so creative, so artsy, so intellectual, so whoa. So Jesus. I don't think I can form a more complete thought or sentence at this point about the film, but it totally brought me back to a place...a place I may have shared about before, but it was so tangible tonight...

...when we were in Cambodia 2 years ago, I remember the frustration and feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the need that we were surrounded by. It often felt like we were completely insignificant in our sincere desire to bring love.hope.truth. to these people. (much of the movie focused on this...)

And one night, I remember having the girls climb into the van before me, and this woman approached...begging. I remember vividly the look of desperation in her eyes, as she shuffled towards us...her infant wrapped in nothing more than a rag...naked. Everything inside of me broke at that moment.

A rush of emotions flooded me...because this time, it was different.

This time, I was a wife.

...a mom.

And I couldn't reconcile the feelings within me of the utter despair she must've been feeling. To beg on the street. To not be able to provide for her child. To be willing to give up the last bit of pride and independence she must've once felt in order to survive.

This is the world. This is reality. This is what we so often teach ourselves to turn a blind eye from.

And in that moment, I saw the neediest, most broken soul.

And I also saw the face of God.

To know that He also gave up his Son for Love. For us. To know that in the darkest of places, He always offers Hope. Life. Peace.

Friends, there IS a revolution going on. Its stirring in the hearts of the innocent. the broken. the redeemed. The Church.

I can't imagine anything I want to be a part of more...its ruined me for life...and I love it.

"You may choose to look the other way, but you may never again say that you did not know." ~William Wilberforce

Check it out:
www.i-heart.org

Its been a while

2009-09-29T03:18:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone, I know its been a minute since I've blogged but I'm going to blame that on facebook. I picked that up as my main avenue of communication and I haven't really put it down. But Meg has informed me that some people have been asking for a blog from me so I figured I should get to it.

Thing here are well. We're in the final leg of this deployment. I think most of us are ready to get home. I know I am. My time away and my brief time home on R&R made me realize just how much I love my family. R&R was great by the way. We went to Disney World, was in a wedding, built a deck, had a backyard camping adventure and still had to time to just be together. It was awesome.

There are a couple great things about the fall. First is the dropping temperatures. I never really minded the heat but it is nice not to have 130 degrees everyday. Second is....football season. I really think this has picked up a lot of guys moods. Its like we all have something to look forward to every Saturday and Sunday. I have been fortunate to be able to see 3 of the 4 Buckeye games so far, including the heartbreaker to USC. And even though I'm on the other side of the world, I still am able to participate in my fantasy football league with my guys back home. So every Saturday and Sunday, you know where to find me. The only stinky part is we are still 7 hours ahead so to watch games live can be tough. But AFN (Armed Forces Network, our cable) will usually replay games a couple times so there are chancs to watch.

Anyways, I just wanted to blog and say that I am alive and well. Oh, and I've made some new friends. I was able to post their pictures on facebook so I hope I can here to. Their pics will be at the end.

I hope this note finds you well. Thank you again for all the prayers and support you've given to Meg, Caleb and I. Just a little while longer.

Josh

OUR crazylove

2009-09-28T21:41:00.003-04:00

Yep...we're THAT crazy...

And who wouldn't be crazy about this?!

*sigh* And those two...

It doesn't get any better than this...

Crazy Love

2009-09-27T10:08:00.005-04:00

I know its been longer than I said it would be, and I apologize! The last few months of this deployment are harder than we thought. School is busy, emotions are all over the place, things at the house seem to never be done....but God is still good! We're still looking for Joshua to be home before the holidays sometime, which is excellent news. We're also on the waiting list for South Korea right now...and the process should begin right around that same time! I think a blog in the near future will focus more on the adoption, our decision, and where are hearts are.

THIS blog, though...I wanted to share with all of you something that has been messing me up lately. I'm reading a phenomenal book called, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan. First of all, Francis Chan is the real deal. There are pastors galore that write books...but this guy really walks his talk. I told a friend of mine that I think he reeks of authenticity....and THAT, folks, is something you don't find much anymore.

But moving on to the book. Get it. Read it. Live it. Its SO good. The first chapter blew me away...but along with the book, Chan has a website that goes along with the concepts and ideas that he's written about. So I'm watching one of the videos and Chan is talking about the concept of "crazy love." Takes a minute (or a million) to wrap your brain around the idea, but he put it like this, and I love it:

Our relationship with God is a constant pursuit...by Him, not us (because we're human...and sinners). He [Chan] said to look at our relationship with Him like a proposal....THE proposal...which got me to thinking. Well, every girl in the world has either dreamed about or lived that moment over and over again. And every boy in the world has either worried about it, or been the one doing it. To us, that moment seems to be the beginning of it all.....a life of love, passion, unconditional commitment, etc. But in our broken world...that proposal can lead to all of those things, but it also leads to disappointment, broken promises and lonely relationships. But turn it around and think of it from God's perspective. If we look at it as a proposal in the truest sense...the one moment in our life full of passion, purpose, and unconditional love...that moment captured...forever...is how God is constantly chasing us. Constantly. No matter what we do, how often we fail, or how far we wander...that, my friends, is Crazy Love.

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it." ~ Song of Solomon 8:6-8 [NLT]

"I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the LORD." ~ Hosea 2:19-20 [NASB]

When you're loved by a God like that...what could be better? More thoughts on this to come...

And the book? Go get it. :-)

Time for bullet points....

2009-08-23T18:34:00.002-04:00

So, yeah. Its been a while, blog-world. :-) Here are the life and times of the Carr fam....bullet point style...

Joshua's R&R was fantastic!!! Disney World, a wedding, a new deck, an extra day at the end because of travel problems....we couldn't have asked for more.
My aunt came for a visit. She's awesome. Caleb renamed her "Aunt Nana" because he couldn't believe she was his cousin's nana. :-)
We went on the most fantastic vaca ever with some of the best people we know. It did Caleb and my hearts good to be able to relax and rest right after Josh left. My favorite thing ever is what Caleb told me on vacation: "Mommy, I love Jesus more than girls." Way to be, little man. Way to be.
Summer is officially over (I mean...if you're in Ohio....did it ever really start?!). I went back to school on Friday. The kiddos start invading on Tuesday.
I have officially lost 24 pounds since I joined my personal training place. I'm really proud of myself!!
We do have a date for J's welcome home.
The most exciting news of all, for those that haven't heard, is that we submitted our preliminary application for our adoption while J was home. We will be on a waiting list for about 4 months, but then we should be ready to rock 'n roll with the process. And let me be clear....it will be a PROCESS.....like a 12-18 month process (and that's after we are off the waiting list). But....its good. And its definitely a God-thing.

More blogs to come.

*love*

We're alive...

2009-08-18T16:56:00.000-04:00

And will blog again soon...

*love*

A world of thanks...

2009-07-15T13:39:00.002-04:00

I felt like I needed to write this to thank everyone near and dear to us...and sent it to our local papers, who both published around the 4th of July holiday. Enjoy...

To the Editor,

I wanted to take a quick moment this 4th of July holiday to thank a few of our community members. My husband is currently deployed to Iraq, and we had very little time to prepare for his departure. With that being the case, it has been a difficult adjustment at our home, in terms of all of the practical items that need to be done, along with keeping up our finances, my career and son.

I have been blessed beyond measure by our friends and neighbors—who have gone great lengths to take out our trash, shovel our driveway in the winter, mow our yard when our mowers break (which is often!) , and generally keep a kind, watchful eye out for us. Those small things have meant more than I can explain. I would also like to thank the many members of the Akron Area YMCA, where my husband is employed, that have kept us so close in thought and prayer.

And so this 4th of July holiday, I honor all of them…because while we take time to honor the men and women that serve our country…it is also people like this that exemplify the true meaning of community in the absence of our loved ones overseas. I, my entire family, and families just like mine, give thanks from the very bottom of our hearts. Happy Independence Day!

*love*

The dream won't die...

2009-06-28T20:16:00.007-04:00

Ever have God speak something to your heart so deeply, that you just can't shake it? Though it tests your faith, scares you to death, makes you feel utterly ill-prepared...you can't WAIT for it to happen? Yeah. We're there. Pray for us, friends...Love you all!

Isaiah 43:5
Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Psalm 68:5-6
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families...

Hosea 14:3

...In you the orphan finds mercy.

The best things in life are free...

2009-06-28T14:44:00.001-04:00

Caleb and I went and visited with our neighbor, Mr. Bob, as he was having a yard sale. We really have been SOOOOOOOOOO blessed by our neighbors during this deployment, so it was a nice time to say hi, thank you, etc. also.

Mr. Bob directed Caleb over to the toy table while he and I chatted, telling him to pick something out. He immediately made a bee-line for a stuffed Shamu the whale. (He is ecstatic about our side-trip there in a few weeks...) When I asked Mr. Bob what I could pay him for Shamu, he politely declined, saying, "Its free for you today."

When I got to thinking about that...I thought, "The best things in life are free..."

Whether its Shamu *grin*
Our family
Our friends and neighbors
Or any of life's little blessings...

Friends, remember today...take a lesson from Shamu...the best things in life indeed are free. Cherish the little things.

I can't WAIT...

2009-06-24T16:37:00.003-04:00

So, friends....we are now T-30 days and counting until Joshua gets home on leave. Please pray with us that the weather over there cooperates and he gets home on time, because we've planned a family getaway to Disney that we'd really like our daddy to join us on!! :-)

And now, as often as we can, we're going to update the "I can't WAIT...." blog...as a reminder to appreciate the little things in life...

Meg: I can't WAIT to hold your hand again. You know...in that funny way when I have to have my thumb and my pinky finger just where I want them...and you hate it. lol

Caleb: I can't WAIT to play "ka-chow!" with you!!

Josh: I can't WAIT to play "Transformers" with you and I can't WAIT to give you a hug and kiss.

*love*

Caleb-isms

2009-06-22T15:31:00.002-04:00

The scene: Dinner at Don Pablos, sitting by the fountain in the middle of the restaurant...of course...one that you throw pennies into.

The players: Caleb and mommy (and Caleb's girlfriend-waitress...but that's another blog).

[Caleb throws a penny half-way across the restaurant. Whoops. We try again. Success!]

Me: Good throw, bud! What did you wish for?

Caleb: I wished that everyone in the whole wide world would be in our family.

[Mommy eyes the teachable moment...]

Me: What a great wish, buddy!! Did you know that that's the SAME THING Jesus wishes for all of us? To be in His family?

Caleb: [rolls his eyes and sighs] I already knew that, Mommy...

Scene ends. Don't really know how to follow that up...Way to go, kiddo. Way to go.

Only my kid....shaking my head

2009-06-01T20:07:00.004-04:00

We were driving home from the mall tonight, and I had the windows down because the air conditioning isn't working (and yes, honey....I have an appointment at Saturn on Thursday...but I digress...). On the way home, though, we pass a landscaping company, and to be frank, it stinks. But then I hear THIS from the backseat:

"Ew!!! Mommy, put your windows up! It smells like daddy's feet all the way from Iraq. And THAT smells bad..."

That, my friends, is laugh-out-loud-funny!

*Edit* I need to add an apology to my poor husband...who did not think this was quite as funny as the rest of us. Sorry, honey!!! :-)

A much needed weekend...

2009-06-01T19:52:00.004-04:00

We packed up the fam and drove up to Sandusky, OH this weekend for some much needed R&R. The school year is wrapping up, family stuff is crazy, and we're counting down the days til daddy comes to visit...so this was a nice break from it all.

If you've never been to Kalahari...put it on your to-do list. It was a BLAST!!!

At this time 6 years ago...

2009-05-25T09:40:00.006-04:00

So I'm sitting in my room thinking about how much I miss Meg today. It was really hard for me. We had an easy day today at the shop. We watched movies, had a cookout and launched water balloons from a 3-man slingshot. But I found myself sitting alone for about a hour this morning thinking about how much I love Meg and how much I miss her today. I prayed for us as a couple and for us to be strong during this time. So after all the fun at the shop, we got released early today. As I poked around the room, I looked at my watch and saw it was 4:33 pm. Those of you that were there and remember our wedding, we actually started late. There was some confusion with directions with some of my family and they were late. And when I say some of my family, I mean the entire first 3 rows on my side of the church. Of course we needed to wait on them to arrive as they would of made quite the commotion when they did arrive. As I thought about just that one individual thought, I quickly remembered everything from that day. It was a beautiful Sunday morning. We had a party at my parents the day before since so many family members were in town. So we had a big get together. I remember getting to bed super late. We (the guys) had a plan to get up and go to breakfast at Bob Evans on Arlington Road. Sure enough, there were over 25 guys taking up a whole corner of Bob Evans. It was awesome! From there, the responsible thing would of been for all the guys in the wedding to go their respective ways to prepare to be at the church by 1:30 as the plan was laid out. Not us. I soon had roughly 8-10 guys back in our apartment playing Monkey Ball on the Nintendo Game Cube. In between rounds of Monkey Fighting, I got ready for the day. Fun right?

I can remember all of my emotions on that day. When I got to the church, I can remember hanging out and playing cards and my very soon to be mother-in-law telling us we shouldn't be playing cards in the church. I remember listening to music on a portable radio. I remember neglecting to stop at the store for some additional stuff and Tom R. had to bail me out (thanks buddy). And I definitley remember my parts of my extended family being late. And I remember Pastor Dave and his marathon prayers. But the greatest thing that I won't forget on that day is when I saw my bride for the first time. I remember how much I loved her at that moment and how wonderful she looked. I remember crying at the sight of the lady that was promising to stand next to me through it all, good and bad, highs and lows. When I'm being an impatient jerk or romantically sweeping her off her feet. I remember thinking how thankful I was to God for giving her to me. And as I look at it now, 6 years later, I am even more in love with my wife and she is even more beautiful to me today. She has taught me so much about myself and taught me so much about becoming the man I am today.

Meg-I couldn't be half the man I am today without you by my side. I love you more with each passing day and I can't wait until we are back in each others arms. You are my inspiration and my real life fairytale. I love you.

To my husband...

2009-05-25T00:14:00.002-04:00

It was almost nine years ago that we met at the YMCA. You were one dreamy catch at that front desk. *wink* I walked past you day after day...turning down date after date. While we had gone to youth group together all during high school and yet not met, had mutual friends at Malone...and still hadn't met, and then there we were at the Y...with you fixing my car in the dead of winter, me coming back to work just to fold towels so I could talk to you and become friends...God had a plan and a purpose for it all. It was a complicated start to a beautiful relationship.

Three years later, we were standing at the altar, pledging our covenant to one another in front of our family, our dear friends, and God. The six years that have followed have not always been easy, but they have been fruitful, just like He promises in John 15. We have been blessed time and again by our needs always being met, situations given to us to stretch and grow us, and always knowing that God's unconditional love and grace sustain us.

We were also given the most precious gift in any marriage...a tangible reminder of our love...our son. As I watch him grow up, and grow into that big personality God gave him, I know that you are influencing him in the best ways. He is strong and independent, and yet gentle and sensitive at times...and all the time...just darn funny. He loves his daddy...

As I look over the past six years, I am unbelievably grateful for your leadership and example in our family, your unwavering faith, your constant integrity and honor, and the way that you cherish both Caleb and me. We could not ask for me.

Happy Anniversary, baby...

Song of Solomon 8:6a, 7a (Amplified):
"Set me like a seal upon your arm, like a seal upon your heart; for love is as strong as death...Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it..."

Because I know you will...

2009-05-23T00:38:00.005-04:00

For all of the traffic we get on this blog...I pray it encourages you from time to time! We love you all so much for supporting us in and through this time...and now I know you'll help me to love and support another.

Megan (not me!...Megan R.) is a wonderful woman of God that I have had the pleasure of knowing since 1999. Though unfortunately our paths have not crossed since our time at Teen Mania, I can assure you she is a precious woman, wife and mother. Her faith, in the midst of many trials and tragedies, is amazing and humbling to me. I hope that you will join me in partnering with them in prayer and believing for a miracle for their family. Here's their story.

There is a beautiful song by Lisa Gungor that is called "Paradox of Faith." It talks about how we pray to God, come to Him with our needs, but already have the answers for Him...as if our ways were better than His own. I pray, as in the song, that Mike and Megan are uplifted by all of us....

"Whatever we ask in your name, we shall receive..."

*love*

Who turned on the hair dryer?

2009-05-19T16:56:00.004-04:00

The title of this blog may lead you a little astray to ask yourself why a bunch of soldiers in Iraq even have hair dryers and why in the world would they would be using them?! The truth of the matter is the temperature today was about 115 degrees and whenever the wind blew, it felt like a hair dryer in your face. Nice!! Can't wait to see what June, July and August bring...

Here comes trouble...

2009-05-11T00:09:00.005-04:00

So, I took a dear friend from our church, Melinda, to the Acquire the Fire in Pittsburgh this weekend...and we had a BLAST, if I do say so myself. :-) We left Friday right after school, and got home late late late Saturday night. We crashed in my bed as soon as we laid down. But there was one problem...

You see, Caleb has a teeny tiny crush on Miss Melinda. He wanted me to wake him up when we got home so he could see her. My thought process was that he was going to see her in the morning, so he could just sleep.

Well, in the morning, he was ecstatic to find Melinda downstairs...except for one small problem...

Caleb: MELINDA!!!!!

Mel: Hey, Caleb! (I'm sure a big hug and kiss followed this exchange)

Caleb: Melinda?

Mel: Yeah, buddy?

Caleb: You were supposed to sleep in MY bed last night.

Mel: I was? Why?

Caleb: Yes. Because I have TWO pillows.

Uh.....good thing my kid is only 4. We're going to have to nip this in the bud.

From the mouths of babes

2009-05-10T23:50:00.004-04:00

So, I've decided that holidays are especially difficult without J...just special days that I wish we could all be together. The best thing about Joshua is he knows how much I cherish the little things, so he would've made today the best...breakfast in bed, a back rub if I wanted, flowers...

Funny thing is, I have a little man who did all of that for me today, and more. The two men in my life are for SURE two peas in a pod. I woke up this morning (after an incredible, but super crazy, weekend in Pittsburgh) to breakfast in bed (an eggo waffle with Coke), flowers on my tray (dandelions that were rescued from perishing from the lawn mower later in the day), and a beautiful homemade card. Not only that, but as I awoke and stumbled out of the bedroom, Caleb came running to me, full force, yelling..."Happy Mother's Day, mommy!!!"...and wrapped me up in a huge hug.

Though the day was difficult without my best friend and hubby here with us, the BEST part came later that evening. Caleb and I were laying in his bed, singing to his worship CD when he asked if we could say prayers. Like I would ever say no...

Caleb: Dear Jesus, thank you for this day. Its Mother's Day (just in case Jesus didn't know). So, thank you for picking me out for my mom. And thank you for picking my mom out just for me. You did a good job.

*heart melting*

Wow. And Jesus...I'd like to add...thank you for such a spectacularly sensitive kid. May he always live life with the passion, depth and love for the world that he shows already. He for sure makes BOTH of his parents proud.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone.

Mothers versus Moms

2009-05-10T16:11:00.005-04:00

So I just wanted to take a minute to share my thoughts on moms since today is Mother's Day. First of all, I have to say that I have 3 amazing moms in my life. First is obviously my wife. She is such an amazing mom. She has given our son so much and continues to give in my absence. I love her more every day for the way she cares for CJ. Second is my own mom. She has done so much for me - from raising me in a Christian home to staying up all night long so I could have a co-ed sleep overs after Proms. Third would be my mother-in-law. I have called her mom from the start of dating her daughter and she has accepted and loved me as a son the whole time.

But as I think about what it means to be a mom versus a mother, I can come up with a list of differences. Any woman (I'm speaking in general here) can be a mother. They can carry a child for 9 months, give birth and that is that. She would technically be a mother. However, a mom is someone who continues to give past that 9 months. She loves her children all the time, regardless of the circumstances. She gives with no thought of reward. She is willing to sacrifice her comfort and even her life, for her children. I'm not saying that dads wouldn't do the same but lets be honest for a second; if guys had to be responsible for child birth, there would be a lot less people in this world. :-)

I have seen a lot of great moms out there and words can not justify how awesome they are. So thank you to all the moms out there...the ones that get up early and go to bed late, the ones that are willing to cut of the crust of bread, the ones who drive miles out of their way, and the ones that sacrifice just so their children have just a little more. You make the world better for all of us.

Josh

This is where I live

2009-05-04T05:17:00.005-04:00

So now that I'm on up on the internet, I figured I would give a little preview of my life here in Iraq. My room is a modest 15' x 15' area that myself and one other guy live in. I actually am thankful for him as a roommate. We both like to keep the room clean and tidy, we observe each other's privacy and we both like the room about the same temperature. Plus he is a fellow ginger (red head) as so many people around here like to call us.

I mostly feel like my day goes by quick. I get up, go to work working on trucks, come home, go to chow, then I either workout or shoot hoops, take a shower and talk to the family. All-in-all, the days go quick. On my days off, I might watch a movie or play some Guitar Hero.

Anyway, here are some pictures. Enjoy!!!

Yep, twin size bed and wood paneling. Living the high life....

19" tv but at least I have my Xbox

The walkway to my room. Lots of concrete here.

One of my teams first projects was tearing apart the front end of this hummer. Good stuff!

I got promoted!!!

2009-04-14T12:08:00.002-04:00

So I have made the ranks of Staff Sergeant. Right now, it doesn't mean too much more for me here except for some extra pay. But when I get home, I'll be in a new unit and actually be the platoon sergeant. Actually, this will be my old unit and I'll just be going back to them. Still pretty excited.

Thanks for everything.

I dare you...

2009-04-12T21:26:00.003-04:00

There's a song by Switchfoot (and if any of you know me very well, I'm sure you're laughing now...because I typically am not a Switchfoot girl...I think he sounds like Kermit the Frog...but I digress...) that is particularly powerful on this Easter Sunday.

It's called "Dare You To Move"...we listened to it in service today...it was so good...but here are some of the lyrics...(and I've totally taken some liberties in removing some lines to make the point that has been stirring in my heart...)

I dare you to move...
I dare you to move...

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

What I love about taking these two pieces of the song, though, is this...

First: You have the dare. Its an action...it requires us to respond. Will we run to the One that calls? Or will we choose to do nothing...in light of everything that He has done for us...because its easier, or more comfortable? I won't lie--it is the easiest place to be, and I've been there--in that place of thankfulness, but complacency. Don't settle there, friends...

Second: The word redemption means 'deliverance or rescue.' We have all been offered redemption through the action of Christ. We have been saved from darkness....addictions....fear....lies....loneliness....you name it! We are whole and complete--forgiven from top to bottom because of the action of Christ on the cross.

And when we take those two things...the dare and the deliverance -- we have a story that demands to be told.

I dare you to tell it...

I dare you to share it with others...

I dare you to let it change you forever...

*love you all*

~meg

Happy Easter...from the Carr's!!

2009-04-12T20:48:00.008-04:00

Welp, it has been an action packed day here in Ohio!!

Caleb woke up to some special surprises from the Easter Bunny!
We headed off to church for a special breakfast for the dance team, and then TWO awesome performances of "Oh, Happy Day!" (You have GOT to check out YouTube. Search "Jubilee595" and its called 'Easter Sunday Dance') I was SO proud of all of the kids on the dance team. What a blessing...
A stop at Bob Evans in between services for a hot cocoa and cinnamon roll.
Off to Nana and Papa's for Easter dinner with all of our favorite people...

Here are some pics from our blessed day!!

Caleb's Easter Basket

A special letter from the *ahem* Easter Bunny...

Checking out the directions for his egg hunt...

With all of his fantastic finds!!

And in his choir robe (his dance costume) that they ripped off in the middle of the song...yes, friends...you HAD to be there!!!

Happy Easter!!!!

~the carr's

What do you say to this....?!

2009-04-08T22:42:00.002-04:00

So Caleb and I were at church tonight, for rehearsal for Passover service. I'm doing a quick readers' theater, but we were running through the whole service. As he and I were sitting in the sanctuary, he was very thoughtfully watching the video clips of the crucifixion. I kept glancing side-ways at him...knowing that there would be questions to follow...(he knows the Easter story through and through...and LOVES it...but this was tough stuff for anyone to watch!!!)

Turns out, I was right.

There were questions. And here it is:

Caleb: "Mommy, why does Jesus get to know everything, and I don't? That's not fair."

Me: "Uh...."

Answer me that, my friends...

Things I can't wait to have again

2009-04-08T05:44:00.002-04:00

Well, there are a couple of things that I have discovered are a true blessing in my life and I cannot wait to have them back. Here goes;

1. Obviously my wife and son

2. Friends.

3. Having a bathroom in my house and not having to walk 50 yards to it.

4. Lots and lots of hot water.

5. My own bed.

6. Having a shower in my house and not having to walk 50 yards to it.

7. Driving a car to wherever I want.

8. Not walking 100 yards to use really slow internet service.

9. Not having everything covered in a film of dust.

10. My house and not living in a 5'x10' space.

11. Burger King and Pizza Hut actually tasting like Burger King and Pizza Hut.

12. My wife's cooking.

I'm sure there are many other things I could come up with but I'm sure you get the idea. Love you all.

Gems

2009-04-03T20:41:00.003-04:00

So...here are some real gems from our little guy lately...

~Laying in bed, trying to get CJ to sleep...

Me: Hey, buddy...you can't sleep? Why not?

Caleb: I'm sad. I miss daddy.

Me: I miss daddy too...it makes my heart sad sometimes.

Caleb: It does not make MY heart sad. It makes MY heart broken.

Well, then. Not much more I can say about that!

~Watching "Aladdin" for the very first time. Its right about the part where Aladdin...ahem...I mean...Prince Ali...is trying to get Princess Jasmine to take that magic carpet ride with him.

Caleb is sitting on the floor, with an increasingly exasperated look on his face. Next thing I know, THIS comes out of his mouth:

*long, drawn out sigh* "Come ON princess, get on the carpet already!!!" *rolls his eyes and shakes his head*

I about peed my pants laughing at that one. My kid is something else...

Hey, daddy....!

2009-03-29T16:17:00.001-04:00

We love you!!!!!!!!!

The Mizpah mystery...and my snazzy pedicure!! wink

2009-03-29T16:16:00.000-04:00

So...I promised a picture of our Mizpah tattoo...so here you go! :-) You'll just have to pretend that you see Joshua's arm here. Just be glad you weren't there when we (read: HE) GOT the tattoo...what a baby!! *ha!!*

Mizpah is something we're hanging on to a lot right now--because the circumstances lately have required us to place our faith in God alone. We don't always get to talk every day, the internet is not always available and Joshua's working long, hard days. So we just have to learn that like Genesis 31:49 says...may God watch over us while we are apart from one another. Putting my complete faith in God alone is something I always felt like I knew how to do...but man...how He's humbled me!! When you get married, part of the process is attaching your soul to another's, and in that, you do become dependent on each other. If its a healthy dependence, that's how marriage is supposed to work! You depend on each other, and together, you depend on God. Its an awesome process. But now...we're in this situation that has taken us away from each other, and I'd like to say that the depending on God alone part has just come naturally...but its a struggle. I find myself wanting to control and figure out and keep my hand on every situation...that inevitably...I have absolutely no control over in the first place! I didn't realize what a control freak I really am! (And I'm sure some of you might be laughing right now...that's ok...) All I can honestly say is that I'm learning, friends. Every day. Its a hard place....but its a good place.

And how 'bout that snazzy pedi?? *wink* Miss Jill, from the Y, gave me an AWESOME gift to go get this--so I did it right before we flew out to see Joshua. I think that my creative and patriotic red, white and blue pedi was WAY more appreciated by me...but...Joshua oohed and ahhed over it like a good hubby. :-) Thanks, Jill!!!!

Wishing you fewer control-freak moments...and more God-filled dependence!

~Mizpah~

meg

Updates:

2009-03-23T09:38:00.004-04:00

Here are the most recent comings-and-goings of the Carr family:

Caleb and I got sick. Really sick. Yucky viral thing going around. But we're good!
I joined a personal training place. I figure my emotional eating phase has to end...so I'm going to do something healthy for myself a few times a week while Joshua's gone. So far, so good!! They mean business there...!!
Caleb joined the dance team at church for Easter....this is gonna be good....*grin* He is so good at practice--I'm just hoping that when the sanctuary is full for both services on Easter morning he still loves it as much as he does during practice!
We had a little visit with the in-laws--Caleb was in heaven!
Got the trampoline back up and worked a little in the yard...oiy!!
Josh said he was finally leaving for his one hour journey into Iraq on Thursday.
Had surgery on Friday. Starting to feel like my stomach is no longer falling out of my body *OUCH*. Thank goodness we have family here....been camping out over at my mom's and getting some major TLC.
Josh finally GOT to his destination...on Sunday. :-) Gotta love the army. A few days and a couple of pit stops later....He's settling in and should be up online in the next few days. Thanks for praying him in.
Its Spring Break!!!!!!!!!!!
I set up a YouTube account so Josh doesn't miss out on stuff while he's gone. Its the closest way I could think to keep him, and our out of town family, in the loop for the really fun stuff. If you search "Jubilee595", that's my 'channel' and all of the videos should come up. There are 3 videos up now....I think Easter will be the next one....we'll see!!

That's all for now. My vicodin-induced naptime is coming on....*grin* Love you all!!!

Life in Kuwait

2009-03-10T00:52:00.003-04:00

So I haven't really blogged in a while because I haven't really felt like I had a whole lot to report. Things have been going slow. We've had a little training but for the most part we've been sitting around. Well the last couple of days some interesting things have happened. First, I had to go out to a M16 range. It was cool because I got to see the sun coming up across the sandy dunes. Pretty cool. That same day, I found a beetle that I swear was cast in the move The Mummy with Brendan Fraser. That sucker was huge. Then today, I have encoutered my first sandstorm. And I have to tell you...its wild. I went to breakfast with a couple of guys. We were just sort of hanging out talking and enjoying life. And suddenly, I could smell sand. I thought it was a little weird and actually smelled my uniform. Nothing. So one of the guys said that the toaster had been smoking and something was burning. So I dismissed the whole thought. A couple minutes later, I got that smell of sand again. Now granted, there was a sandstorm on the weather report but everything was perfectly clear when we went in to the chow hall. So anyway, one of the guys at the table points to one of the windows and I look and the whole window has an orange tint to it. Crap!!!! So we quickly move to head back to the barracks. It was like walking in a bad fog that gets in your hair. Totally weird. Anyway, I attached some photos to help share the moment.

Hope you all are enjoying in my fun!!!

Sunrise was pretty. Sucks I was up that early.

I wasn't kidding. This guy was definitely in The Mummy!!!

See how perfectly clear the world was before? And that haze in the background is the sandstorm.

And after it has hit...

And a another pic just for emphasis!!!

Choosing NOT to share in the joy...

2009-03-07T22:19:00.003-05:00

So it is definitely no secret that we have a little guy with some pretty serious opinions on life. One of these opinions is that every pretty girl that God has created was apparently supposed to have been HIS girlfriend. He doesn't take kindly to learning that someone he has his eye on is taken.

Enter the pretty girl in our story...Jessica. :-) Jessica is an awesome young lady at our church who just happens to be the girlfriend of an equally awesome guy--JL. I'll save their love story for JL's blog. *grin* Back on track...we call Jess the "Preschool Cougar"...because she just has this awe-inspiring affect on preschool boys. They LOVE her. But seriously--who wouldn't?

Enter my son...and his infatuation. :-)

So...let me let you in on a sneak peek during Friday night prayer time:

*laying on the couch saying our prayers*

Me: Anybody else you want to pray for, buddy?

Caleb: Uh...no...

Me: Oh! I know...we should pray for JL! Know why...?

Caleb: Why?

Me: He's going to ask Jessica to marry him!!!!!! Isn't that exciting?

*and for reenactment's sake*.......his face upon hearing the exciting news...the shock sets in that once again, he's lost the girl...

Me: So....aren't you excited for them? They love each other a lot! Jesus picked them out for each other!

*And I believe this would be either his face of concession...Ok, JL...you win...OR...his face of plotting how to steal Jess away....haven't figured it out yet. Ha!!*

Needless to say, prayer time ended without my son sharing in anyone's joy. But don't worry Jess and JL...we love you and are SO excited for this time in your lives. We are praying endless blessings upon the journey that you are choosing to take with one another. I hope that along the way, you'll continue to learn from the amazing people God has put in both your lives and that it will enrich your relationship in a way you never thought possible. You guys are going to impact the Kingdom in mighty ways...

And don't worry about my kid. *wink* He'll be fine...

sigh....

2009-03-03T22:52:00.001-05:00

Our last night in OK

2009-03-03T22:49:00.000-05:00

Day at the zoo

2009-03-03T22:47:00.000-05:00

Joshua's 4 short days

2009-03-03T22:42:00.003-05:00

Being intentional

2009-03-01T09:58:00.002-05:00

So I promised the next blog would be about our visit with Joshua...so here goes! (pics to come later...)

Highlights, bullet-point-style:

Staying in the fancy hotel...and having our son faceplant off of the windowsill (on the INSIDE, everyone...he did not fall off the 5th floor!). We were subjected to our very first bloody nose. Oiy.
Seeing Matty and Sarah for the first time in over 2 years...what a blessing!!!
Watching CJ and Joshua wrestle, play "ka-chow!" and read together...
Having Caleb ask Uncle Matty if he's ready to "throw up again" *laughing*
Going to the OKC Zoo and having our son get mauled by a lion...with an inch of glass in between them. Wish you'd have been there. Almost peed my pants!!! So did he...!
Swimming at the coolest Y ever.
Eating at Sonic every day. YES!!!!!!!
Praying with my husband while laying in his arms...*sigh*
PF Changs. Yum! (thanks, Sarah and Matty's home group!!!)
Having s'mores on the back porch.
Sitting with Joshua on the couch, watching a Cavs game.
Getting lost. A lot. Sprint's navigation lady SUCKS.
Kissing. *blush*
Pulling into a parking lot and having our son exclaim with great joy, "We're at a SUPERTarget!!" And he knew that how...??
Changing Matty and Sarah's locks...and having them ring the door bell to get inside because they were locked out!! :-)
Making fried chicken for everyone.
Meeting the OKC versions of "us" *wink* (Rickie and Tim, Laurie and Brent...you guys are awesome!!!)
Making Caleb-sandwiches.

I could go on and on....but I'm sure for most of you reading....that list might be kind of lame. But let me tell you....God has taught us SO MUCH about being intentional in our relationship with each other and others. Its such a blessing for us right now, because we absolutely savor every moment--no matter how mundane or ordinary. We know that we are in a situation where we need to make the most of every moment and make the time count...because our time together was short. What's so good about that though is this...we are learning to walk in the spirit of John 10:10 to the very fullest. We know without a doubt that our Savior came for us...a relationship with us...which He wants to reflect in everything and anything we do. And when we can walk in that knowledge...and the knowledge that every moment should be lived to its absolute fullest, we begin to live intentionally.

Every moment matters...

Every "I love you" is precious...

Everything ordinary is extraordinary...

And though we know that our situation is unique...let us challenge you to live in this same spirit. Live as though every moment might be your last. Live as though each decision and word you speak matters for eternity. Live intentionally in each of your relationships and I guarantee you that the Lord will work in amazing ways.

Wishing you lots of "ordinary" moments with one another...

~meg, josh, and caleb

My theory on life...through flight...

2009-02-27T19:49:00.002-05:00

Its true. I'm the "deep" blogger. Sometimes. :-) But alas...this is one of those times...

Caleb and I got to go see Joshua for his 4 day pass this week--it was AWESOME. That'll be the next blog...but while we were traveling to go see him, the Lord really showed me some good stuff...

Caleb and I were waiting anxiously in the airport in Cleveland. Ok...I was waiting anxiously. Caleb was totally chill, completely engrossed in playing with his Mario guys. Soon overhead we heard, "Ladies and gentlemen...we will begin boarding soon. We're waiting on news from Chicago. There's some bad weather there causing delays and cancellations and some flights are being rerouted. We'll keep you posted and get going as soon as possible."

Well, I immediately freak out. I sit in my chair, bouncing my knees, tapping my fingers, worrying as much as possible. You know, because things change when you worry. *insert ridiculously sarcastic face here* And I try and justify it all...because I'm only worrying because I want to spend every possible second with my husband that we haven't seen in two months...because we have reservations for a beautiful hotel that night...because I don't like flying in bad weather...because...because...because...

And I hear a whisper..."oh you of little faith..."

Right. Uh. Not me. Not me.

Thankfully, we begin boarding pretty quickly after that...so I don't have to listen to the voices anymore. *wink* We got buckled up, settled in and got ready to say a quick prayer together before take-off. The weather in Cleveland wasn't bad. Cloudy, but nothing crazy. I was still super worried about Chicago...and then what after that? The unknown was driving me mad. As we get take off, after a sweet prayer with my little guy, I hear the whisper again...

..."how can any of you add a single minute to your life by worrying...?"

Ok, ok, I get it. And as we take off, I really get it. In my vulnerability, God showed me a beautiful picture of the theory of life...through flight.

I think many of us view life like an airplane flight. When the weather of life, our circumstances, gets really bad, we ground ourselves. We never experience the fullness of Christ or what He has for us because of our fear...our crippling worry...it keeps us down. We allow it to overcome us...instead of us being the overcomers...which His word promises us!! Sure, as we take off--if we even allow ourselves to get that far, life can be bumpy. Our circumstances can be overwhelming. Situations can seem unfair. It can feel like the "fasten seatbelt sign" never turns off!! But when we continue to press through...press in...we break through those clouds of turbulance. And what's beyond those clouds is amazing. Its the amazing grace of God. Its the unconditional love of a Father. Its the blessing of knowing that through everything--He is faithful. Its the sun...shining...like it always is...no matter what. Its the same yesterday, today, forever...just like Him. :-)

Had I sat in Cleveland, continuing to worry about things out of my control...I would have never heard or seen what God wanted to remind me of that day. And if each of us sits in the holding area of our life...waiting for the weather to clear...we'll never take off. We'll never take a hold of what God has for us. So let me challenge you today to listen to the whispers--even if things seem cloudy or out of control--He'll never leave you or forsake you.

Live in the moment...for today. There's always good things beyond the turbulance.

My Last Blog From Fort Sill

2009-02-19T17:29:00.004-05:00

Well...this is it...my last blog from Fort Sill. I'm still here for a little while longer but I'm about to have my internet shut down. We're not sure exactly when we're leaving but we're all getting ready. As I look back at it, it has actually been a quick two months. And last night as we were packing and preparing to get ready to go on pass to see our families, I actually started to become very nervous and anxious about what I was about to embark on. So far the worse thing I've had to overcome was being away from my family and dealing with some new faces. But as I laid in bed last night, it really hit me that I was going to be heading overseas and heading to a war-stricken land. Granted, I am in the best possible spot I could be in for a deployment. I'm not going to be kicking in doors or running convoys, I should be on a very comfy base. But the simple fact still remains that I'm going to be there. And while I'm so excited to spend Saturday through Wednesday with Meg and Caleb, I'm also very nervous for the days that will follow. I guess that it is simple human nature to be nervous about the things we don't know. Lots of guys have been saying, "when I was deployed..." or "guys I know said..." but still, there is something scary about the unknown. Something scary about the fact that I can't pickup my cell phone and make a call. Something scary about the fact that I will be half a world away from my family. But I can say that I can take strength in knowing that God is the Master Planner and he knows what is best. To know that no matter what happens, good and bad, that His will be done. And as I proceed forward, two Bible verses come to mind for me.

Proverbs 16:3: Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.

Philippians 4:13: I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

While I'm still nervous about leaving soon, I can rest knowing that God will give me the strength I need. That I will continue to work on behalf of the Lord and make sure my conversations are full of salt (Colossians 4:5-6) for His glory. As I said when I originally heard about my deployment, "the Will of God will not take you somewhere the Strength of God cannot protect you."

Thank you all so much for all the support you have given my family and to me. It is a blessing and a pleasure to have you in our lives.

I'm looking forward to blogging again from Iraq (maybe Kuwait).

Josh

Love Is Something That You Do

2009-02-15T01:55:00.005-05:00

I went for a long time in life thinking love was something that was just "easy" when you found the right person. That when you were with that person that everything would fall into place and no matter the circumstances, you would overcome it. Well...anyone that is older than 12 years of age and has actually been in a lasting relationship (or seen one) knows that love is something that you either make better daily or it is something that can fall to the wayside. I'd like to believe that Meg and I have figured out a lot of that. While we've only been married just shy of 6 years and together 8 1/2 total years, we have found out a lot about each other and what it takes to make your love grow daily.

I was very fortunate in life to have my parents stay together (and still are today) and they were a good model for me. They made me see that no matter what, come hell or high water, you stay together. You made this commitment and you are going to stay with it. I was also fortunate to see them love one another and want to be with each other. Meg and I have have the same thoughts on this. That we're going to make it work. And now matter what, I know I can depend on her, and she on me, that we'll be there for each other tomorrow. But the question still remains, how does that love grow daily? Well...like the title of this blog, love is something that you do. Thus making it an action. Something you purposely and willingly participate in. I've decided that I want to be happy with this woman that I've vowed to spend the rest of my life with. With this woman that I can honestly say has made me into a better man. So with all that being said, I guess here are some of the tips I've done to try and intentionally love my wife.

1. Try not to lose the feeling of excitement to see and be with each other. Remember when you were first dating or first getting to know each other? There was no obstacle too big, no cost too great, no need for sleep, no date too boring. You were excited just to be with that person and spend the time with them; regardless of what you were doing or regardless of how much sleep you didn't get. Or if it was you Spring Break and you still were getting up at 7:00am just to take her to physical therapy. :-)

2. Don't be afraid to apologize. No matter what our argument, one of us is going to extend the olive branch. And I'm happy to say that it is never the same person. I'll extend it this time, she'll extend it next. The important thing is that after we've become frustrated with each other and walk away from the situation, we're both ready to come back to it and talk and work out a solution.

3. Don't go to bed upset...or at least don't wake up angry. Meg and I are two totally different communicators. I'm a yeller. I blurt out what I'm thinking and then I'm good. Five minutes after an argument I'm ready to go get ice cream together. Meg is a processor. She takes it all in, evaluates what I said, analyses what I meant by it, formulates a good response and then comes and talks to me about it. The problem with our different styles is the amount of time my takes versus hers. Like I said, after about 5 minutes, I'm good to go. She needs a little longer than that. It used to bother me. I was ready to make up and move on and she needed me out of her face (for that whole processing thing). So I would go to bed thinking this would carry over until tomorrow and here should come, 2:00 in the morning and wanting to talk. Once the two of figured all this out, communication definitely became easier. So now I know that even if we go to bed upset, we 'll be talking about it soon enough.

4. Learn to speak their Love Language. There is a book out there called "The Five Love Languages". When Meg first told me about this book, I thought she was talking about something a bunch of drug-inspired hippies would be reading. However, I stopped and read this book and found there is a some great things in there and we all communicate differently. My love language is physical touch (and not necessarily like that). I love to be with her. To hold her hand, rub her back, have her play with my hair while I'm driving. I love to know she is right there. Her love language is quality time. She loves it if I'll sit down and watch a chick flick, go on a picnic, take her on a walk. Just to have the time for us. Understanding and deliberately speaking the other's language is vital.

5. Make love a priority. Like I already said, love is something that you do. Being on this deployment has made me see even more how much I love my wife. That I hate being away from her everyday. How much I appreciate the little things we did for each other and how much I can't wait to be back to her. And even though we're apart daily, I know our love is growing stronger for one another.

I guess this blog is long enough so I'll wrap it all up. I wish I could tell you what my inspiration was to write this blog but I keep coming back to the same answer, "I love my wife".

Happy Valentines Day!!

Josh

What happened to Indiana Jones?

2009-02-11T20:40:00.003-05:00

So I guess this blog is just a random thought going through my head. Since I've had some free time here, I've been watching a bunch of movies. My wife was wonderful enough to alphabetize my movies and I just got through watching the first 3 Indiana Jones movies. Man, I forgot how great those movies are. I think one of the things I love most about the movies is the how mystical, yet enchanting they are. Even if it was the Ark sucking the life out of Nazi's, some pagan dude ripping the hearts out of people or Dr. Jones walking across a bridge of faith and fighting the 700 year old knight. These three movies had a plot line that pulled you in and made them a part of Hollywood history (and if you try right now, you can hear the Indiana Jones theme music playing your head). But I have to ask, what happened to the 4th installment to this series. Was the general public begging for fourth movie so bad that they had to stretch so bad as to bring aliens into it? I mean, when Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg read the story they were like, "whoa, we have a real winner here". Don't get me wrong-it was an entertaining flick but it seemed like it lacked something. In fairness, I only saw the movie once and that was right when it came out in the theaters so I'm willing to say I need to see it again and give it another go round. But still...aliens. OIY!!!

So here is what's going on

2009-02-09T22:31:00.002-05:00

Its been a while since I gave an update to my wonderful life here at Fort Sill. Our training is just about done. I've had to do a lot of makeup training over the past couple of weeks. Apparently my new unit did a lot of their stuff ahead of time so me and some other late-comers had to play catchup. Anyway, all is well. I've taken some classes on basic soldier skills, I've given a class about Code of Conduct, I had to qualify with the M16 (shot 38/40) and overall have received some good training. All last week, Feb 2-6, we were doing Mounted Combat Patrol (MCP). We were cruising around in hummers as if we were on convoy in Iraq. Everything was staged of course but we would be hit with IED attacks, ambushes, gas attacks, what to do with a broke down vehicle and causalities. It was all very excellent training that I'm hoping/anticipating that I won't have to put to use.

Life in the barracks is going. Overall, most of the guys are great guys but some are starting to drive me a little crazy. Since I consider myself a patient man...oh wait... The problem I think I'm running into is I've been seeing these faces everyday for a while with no break in the routine. We get a 4-day pass in 2 weeks so that should help some.I've been watching a lot of my DVDs and getting really good at Mahjong on the computer. I've never played before I got here but I'm totally addicted now. I've also learned a new card game-Hand and Foot. It's a lot of fun as well.

I'm pretty excited about our pass. Meg and Caleb are coming out here so it will be a great couple of days. I'm so excited to see them but I'm dreading to say the goodbyes again. It was hard enough the first time. Caleb told me tonight on the phone that he missed me (knife to the heart). I miss them so much.

Thanks again to everyone for everything. I'm off to play a little Hand and Foot.

Deeper than a puddle???

2009-02-09T22:09:00.004-05:00

So Meg and I were talking today about me writing a post to our blog and I sort of chuckled. I told her that she always writes the "deep" stuff on our blog and I always write the "what up" blogs. And as I said that it really made me think about our relationship and I think that sums up a little part of our relationship and where we've come to. I think when we first met, I was definitely a little lost in where I was going in life and didn't have a clear direction. I think she was a little too directed and didn't allow any wiggle room. She knew what she wanted and was going to get there. I'd like to believe that we have balanced each other a little and we both see that other side. And please don't get me wrong, I can do the big speeches when I have to and she definitely knows how to cut it loose (just ask her about the time she slipped and fell in the kitchen). But overall, she keeps us grounded and I keep us goofy. It works for us.

While I'm on the topic of my wife and our relationship, I just want to tell everyone how incredibly proud of her I am. I've been gone over 5 weeks and I think some of the reality of my absence is starting to set in on us both. I don't think in a bad way. We're just coming to terms with it. In the time I've been gone, Meg has done some pretty incredible things. She has tackled our finances, is acting as both parents, handled a burst ear drum of Caleb and some other personal illnesses of her own. And not to mention that full time teaching gig she does on the side. And I could not be more proud of her. She has been keeping everything running smooth on the home front for me.

And to everyone that has given a helping hand to my family, "Thank you". As I've said before, I could not do what I have to do without knowing that my family is taken care of.

I love them so much and they are my everything.

From whom all blessings flow...

2009-01-31T20:10:00.005-05:00

It is so interesting to me that I have read the most difficult times of deployment are immediately before they leave, and immediately after. I'm not sure I would've agreed to that prior to experiencing it myself. But...I can now offer my resounding "yes!" to the discussion. :-)

What is even MORE interesting to me...or astounding...is how good God is during those absolutely rocky times where we feel like nothing is permanent, nothing is stable, nothing is, indeed, good. Why I'm shocked by that makes me feel a bit like a bad Christian...but 100% human at the same time. Needless to say, its a humbling reminder of God's grace, and His mercy. Pastor Brenda just spoke last week on "Authentic Faith." The whole sermon really spoke to me...but the best part of it was this: the differences between grace and mercy...because that has always been a conundrum to me. What WAS the difference? Well, here you are:

Mercy: the assurance that God will never allow life to be more than I can handle (excellent!)
Grace: power for the moment...in the moment...through the moment (awesome!)

When we walk in obedience to Christ, He won't give us more than we can handle. And in that, we feel incredibly blessed. So...as our family walks through this maze of emotions, circumstances, and ups and downs...we know this: as we humble ourselves before Christ...He does give us grace and mercy to continue on. I don't know any better promise!

What I want to share with you are some unbelievably tangible times that God has shown me his grace and mercy in moments of difficulty. (And please understand...by no means do I think that blessings always come in the form of something with monetary value, but I do believe that God always knows what our needs are...and fulfills them through the obedience and love of others.) For all of these things...we are truly thankful:

Sarah and Matt Habuda and Connie and Gary Weimer: without your selflessness...we weren't sure how we were going to be able to see Joshua in February. I love you ALL beyond belief for making this possible for us. Your constant prayers, emails and phone calls at just the right time *wink* have been life-saving. You are truly forever friends.
Rachel Carpenter: Your authentic friendship allows me to truly be myself, share myself and process all of my emotions freely. I am unbelievably grateful for Jesus piecing our friendship together over the years. Oh...and I'm thankful for my second husband, too! *wink* Thanks, Aron.
Tonya, Elena and Aaron: While I don't think on most days anyone would call us a functional family...we sure are fun! You guys are the best...and have helped out the most...with little complaint. We know you'll always be there and we love you.
Our parents: Whether you've supported us emotionally...or you just buy us groceries a lot...we know you're only a phone call away. We're thankful. Dad Carr...deck. This summer. You. Me. My pink hammer. ;-)
Our "Y" family: Jill, Kristy, Melanie, Donna, Mary, everyone at Riverfront and Green...it does my heart good to know that we really do have another family outside of our family. I'm so glad that you take care of our little man every day...and you always have our best interests at heart. Joshua always said the Y wasn't just a job. It certainly isn't...WOW!
Pastor Brenda and our Cornerstone family: Prayer is certainly a powerful thing. I for sure feel it tangibly sometimes. Love you guys so much. Brenda, your hugs are the best...
Tara, Lynsey, Katie, Joelle, Mary-O, Cassie, Neal and Ashli, Melanie...the phone calls, texts, support, offers of Girls Night's Out, working out together, swimming, etc. have NOT gone unnoticed. Trust me...they're coming soon.
Joshua's basketball guys: Holy. Cow. We don't really know what to say. I don't even know if any of you even read this...but please know how blown away we were at your gift. It was timely (though absolutely unexpected) and greatly appreciated. He really does love playing with you guys...so thanks for bringing joy to all of our lives (though I'd love it if the alarm went off a little later...).
Our neighbors: snowblowing our driveway...shoveling our walk...helping my sister clean off her car...taking our trash down...such little things that mean a LOT.
And all the rest who are not forgotten in my heart...but maybe just my jumbled head right now. :-) It certainly isn't just the people above who we're thankful for. It is everyone, seen and unseen, heard and unheard, who are loving and praying for us continuously.

Blessings. Yes. We are incredibly blessed. Because of YOU...so thank you. YOU have shown me God's grace and mercy these last 4 weeks. YOU have blessed our family beyond reason. It is absolutely our prayer and hope that one day we can return the blessing...but for now...we know that God sees. And He loves you for it as much as we do.

~The Carr's

Spaghetti-o's and sadness...

2009-01-26T23:23:00.002-05:00

I made Spaghetti-o's this weekend.
As I stirred them it made me sad...really sad.
I missed my husband...

Hey...who said I have to be rational all the time?

Conflict Zone: Valvoline-gate

2009-01-22T21:18:00.004-05:00

I'm certain there are those of you out there who think and/or believe that since my husband and I are hundreds of miles away from one another, we only speak words of love, kindness and longing to and for one another. Well, let me slap you into reality. *grin* While we DO certainly do those things...there is still an element of "realness" to our odd long-distance marriage at times. And when I say "realness"....read "CONFLICT." We are not argue-ers by nature. But here is a recent going-on, just so you can all know and be assured that we are 100% still normal...I like to call it, "Valvoline-gate."

Setting the stage: So, I'm 5,000 miles over an oil change. I knew I needed one, but the money just never seemed to be there. Before Joshua left, he gave me a coupon book from Valvoline with some great money-savers. So, one day, I decide to use it. I pull into Valvoline, and the conversation goes something like this:

Me: Hi! I'd like to use this coupon for an oil change! (It was a regular oil change and 2 wipers for $5 off...I THOUGHT this was a good deal)

Greasy Valvoline Guy: Sure. (Puts the coupon into the computer) Hey, you don't look like Joshua Carr. (Good thing, huh, ladies?!)

Me: Nope. That's my husband. He's gone with the military and so he told me to use these coupons.

Greasy Valvoline Guy: Oh. Where'd he get sent? (Fishing for my vulnerabilities here....waiting to attack....)

Me: Blah, blah, blah...filling in the blanks with the details...

Greasy Valvoline Guy: (Preying on my vulnerabilities...sees his chance...) Hey, actually, you'd save MORE money if you went with this other coupon...

Me: Save more money? Sign me up! My husband would be proud!!!

We now commence the oil change and stop the mindless banter.

Ok...oil change over.

Greasy Sneaky Stinker of a Valvoline Guy: That'll be $79.95

Me: CLANNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKK....... (the sound of my jaw hitting the floor as I reluctantly hand over my debit card....)

We exit Valvoline now because the setting has become dark and ominous...

I now realize on my way home from my $80 oil change in which my car now has oil running through it that has been blessed by Jesus himself (which is pretty sure why I think it was so expensive...), that I should probably call my husband and alert him to this nonsense before he sees it for himself online. (This would be me attempting to confess before I get in major trouble! *laughing*)

I'll let you be a fly on the wall for THIS conversation:

Me: Honey...(trepidation fills my voice...)...so the guys at Valvoline took me for a ride.

Joshua, my darling husband: How expensive of a ride?

Me: ...uh....an $80 ride?

Joshua, my patient, loving husband: WHAT?!?! What did you buy??

Me: Nothing! Just an oil change and the guy's firstborn child. (Just kidding about that part) Well, and two wipers.

Joshua: So what did you buy?!

Me: (Still not apparently understanding the question)...Why do you always think I'm buying something? I'm telling you what happened...

The button pushing begins, and the argument ensues...

And so it goes. *grin* What I thought would be a frugal move on my part to save money blew up in my face. And my "confession" was met with major frustration...on both of our parts. The evening ended with both of us not speaking until the next day.

What ends up being the really positive part of this story is that even though we may not be together physically right now, we are beginning to understand how deeply important it is to communicate clearly with one another. We are also starting to have greater insight as to what words, non-verbals, etc. will really push one or the other over the edge. So often, I think, when couples disagree, it can be very healthy! The outcome, and the struggle to get to the understanding there, is worth its weight in gold. When we acknowledge those areas that we might be fearful of in our own lives and reactions in conversations, we can begin to work through them together. What seems frustrating and painful in life typically ends up being something beautiful and worthwhile in the eyes of the Lord.

And aren't all of our relationships worth that?

Colossians 3:12-14, 4:6

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you maybe have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity...Let your conversations be always full of grace...

What would our relationships with others look like if we lived this out...? I bet it'd be darn good.

*Wishing you healthy-conflict and grace-filled outcomes...*
~meg

Basketball: The Cure All

2009-01-22T14:45:00.003-05:00

I'm sure most of you already know this but I like to play basketball - a lot. I'm willing to sacrifice sleep just to play hoops. The majority of my basketball outings are at 5:30am which Meg just loves the alarm going off for that one (EDIT FROM MEG: please note: that would not be a "singular" alarm...try 4 or 5 alarms going off for basketball...this I DON'T miss).

I use basketball for a variety of reasons but a stress reliever is my biggest. Anyway, the last time I played was the day after Christmas; almost a month ago! So you could probably guess that I'm really starting to miss it. Unfortunatley, the command here for our pre-mob has put out that we're not allowed to play basketball. Apparently, broken ankles can keep you from going to Iraq. Weird. So I've primarily been working out. I'm actually really starting to enjoy it, but it's just not the same as a good game of basketball. Plus, I have been getting a little homesick. The longest I've been away from Meg has been 5 weeks when she went on her missions trip last year to Cambodia but I still had Caleb to keep me company. So now it's been almost 3 weeks since I have left home and I'm starting to feel it a little. Granted, I've been through this before and I know it will pass but that doesn't mean I can't miss home just a little. There have also been some other factors going on, so I've been a little down. Anyway, today after I worked out, I stopped and shot around in the gymnasium for a bit. Then me and two other guys played 33 (to me thats not actually a game of basketball and I was only playing at half speed so I didn't really feel I was being insubordinate). Let me just tell you how much better I feel. It was like a tiny sliver of home. I instantly felt my spirit rise and the world warm up. Not to mention that it is 70 degrees at Ft. Sill today. :-) (ANOTHER EDIT FROM MEG: JERK!!!!!!)

Anyway, I think this little experiment just proves my theory that basketball cures all.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. I need 'em.

Oiy

2009-01-18T00:25:00.008-05:00

Now I'm doing some Army training - Part 1

2009-01-17T22:58:00.008-05:00

So my life here at Fort Sill has started to pickup - some! We were actually busy on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of this past week.

Wednesday started off with us going to do some HEAT training (Humvee Egress Assistance Trainer) or rollover training. (You know the Army and their acronyms!) Anyway, this training is to teach soldiers what to do in the event that their vehicle starts to rollover, whether it is by our own doing or by some IED or road-side bomb (sorry folks, but it happens). Apparently, there are staggering statistics that says the basic soldier is not prepared in the event their Humvee flips. Plus the fact that everything now is the up-armored Humvees so their center of gravity is way different. Anyway, the first day was just the class portion and only lasted a couple of hours. But again, the purpose was to teach us some different things explain how the next day would happen for the actual rollover training. Now my first thought was "we're actually going to get to rollover some hummers!!" but I knew that wasn't going to happen. So when we went the next day, it is actually a simulator machine. Its built just like a humvee on the inside, but the difference was that we would actually get flipped upside down. Once we first got in, they explained how the doors worked. The up-armored doors weigh 240 pounds and have a special locking mechanism. So obviously they want you to try them out. So once everyone is in and buckled and has the doors figured out, they start the machine. The first thing is they take you 25 degrees one way, then 30 degrees the other to demonstrate some of the max limits a humvee can go to. Then, they take you ALL the way around. Talk about a roller coaster ride!! It was sweet! For the next part of the training, they take you and turn you upside down--and then you and your team have to get out. Riiiiight. When you first get upside down, you have to wait about 10 seconds before they tell you that you can exit the vehicle. So if you think about it, we were just hanging upside down by our seat belts. Once they say "GO!" you have to unlatch your belt and FLOP. It was a good thing we wore helmets. :-) Anyway, you then have to get the doors open and everyone get out. As easy as it sounds, the doors gave some people some problems. The combat locks can be tricky. Needless to say (ahem), I was the first person to get ours open in our team. Piece of cake. It was SUPER fun but I'm hoping I never have to put the training to use. Anyway, some of the pictures are from this training.

This is what it looks like BEFORE you start rolling.

Round and round we go, where we stop...

And here we are completely upside down.

And now everyone GET OUT!!!

It was actually pretty tough but still a lot of fun. You can get so disoriented so easily when you're upside down and trying to remember which way to pull down and back (or up and back) on the handle and then try to push open the 240 pound door.

And then later that day, we went to a basic Iraqi language class. They gave us this little pocket manual. Apparently there are a whole bunch of civilian Iraqis on the base daily so I should get a little practice.

Its entitled the Language Survival Guide. Hilarious. Anyway, I'll have more to report on day 3 of cool Army training in the next post. Love you guys.

Josh

Here I am, doin' a whole lot of nothin'

2009-01-13T00:09:00.003-05:00

So I would like to tell you that my time at Fort Sill has been a week of great training. The truth is I haven't done much of anything other than sit around. Since I was joining my new unit so late (they have known they were deploying since last January), they have already completed a lot of the training we were supposed to do here. Plus I am a vehicle mechanic in a helicopter unit which means we're like the stepchildren of the unit. So I just have been hanging out in the barracks, catching up on my sleep. My biggest highlight has been conducting my own personal Bible study. I'm trying to be an example to my fellow soldiers. Most of them are pretty young and need a lot of guidance. I'm finding it hard at times to fit in but with my great personality, I'm working it out. :-) Also, I have been working out every day. Its kind of a new thing for me. I would like to come out 10-15 pounds heavier in muscle so I've got some work to do.

We finally got our Internet hooked up in our room today. I'm hoping that will act like a little moral booster for me. I got to see Meg and Caleb tonight using Skype. In case you're not familiar, it is an online program that allows us to have a video call with one another. So I got to see them both tonight. I get a four day pass at the end of February. We're still working out the details if I'm going to come home or if Meg and Caleb are going to come and visit out here. It makes more sense financially for me to come home but we loose 2 days of time together for me to travel. So we're checking out our options.

Anyway, its getting late and I need to be up at 0545 or 5:45am for all the civilians reading this. Anyway, thanks again for the prayers and support. I'll be sure to post again when we actually do something.

Josh

Was Someone trying to tell me something...??

2009-01-04T22:26:00.003-05:00

So, as you know, we didn't have a whole lot of notice for this deployment. About 2 weeks. But as we were waiting for the "official" word, Joshua and I were praying for peace, and I was really grappling and wrestling with the Lord. While we both felt like this really was where God leading Joshua for this time (His purposes are always better than ours...we can't wait to see what He's actually going to do in and through us during this time), it was hard. I couldn't seem to find that place where the peace of God could really reign in me fully...because I couldn't separate my human emotions from the situation. I think God caught on. :-)

Each day, I get a "Verse of the Day" from a radio station that Joshua and I love, http://www.air1.com/. Here are the verses that led up to the day we found out he was going for sure...and then a few days afterward.

22 December Verse of the Day:
The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him.
Psalm 103:13 NLT

21 December Verse of the Day:
The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him.
Lamentations 3:25 NLT

20 December Verse of the Day:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12 NLT

19 December Verse of the Day:
So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!
Psalm 31:24 NLT

18 December Verse of the Day:
Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.
Psalm 33:22 NLT

17 December Verse of the Day:
And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7 NLT

16 December Verse of the Day:
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 NLT

15 December Verse of the Day:
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.

It never ceases to amaze me the things that God uses to speak to us....emails, songs, text messages at just the right moment...not to mention prayers from friends, quiet moments alone with Him, and His word. My heart is crying out for more of Him...these are hard days. Tomorrow he leaves. But we are clinging to the hope we have in God and knowing that we will indeed be "strong and courageous" for Him. I pray that whatever season you are walking through right now...whether it is a season of great joy, great sorrow, great loneliness or great anticipation...know that God's promises are for ALL of us. Look for the incredible ways that He wants to speak to your heart today...its gonna be good.

*love*
~meg

Caleb's Special Day

2008-12-31T17:01:00.006-05:00

Throughout this whole process, we've tried to be open and honest with Caleb about where daddy's going, how long he'll be gone (in 4 year old terms), etc. Its been difficult for him to comprehend, and I'm sure that actually, he still doesn't understand. So pray for him...that this year will pass quickly and he'll feel the love of his Abba Father AND his daddy.

We took him on his very own special day before Joshua left. First stop...family pictures. These were not wildly successful. I won't lie. But at least we got a decent shot. Then, off to Chuck E. Cheese for some pizza and fun, followed by a trip to Build-A-Bear Workshop. We both made very special Army pals. I'll share....you enjoy...

*love*

~meg

With daddy...waiting patiently for pizza!

Ride 'em, cowboy!

Next stop, picking out our pals at Build-A-Bear!

Daddy's kisses are the best...

My boys!

Look lady, really...I'm 4...

Love him. Bunches.

Almost done!

Puppy makes perfect!

Our hero...every day. Not just the days he's in Iraq. :-) He's the BEST...or as we say, he's our favorite. *wink*

In the "dressing room." Don't peek!!

This little Army puppy has a special message from daddy recorded in him! :-)

A day well done!

Going Away Party

2008-12-30T18:10:00.001-05:00

WOW!!! That is the first thing that comes to mind about my going away party last night at Red Robin. A ton of family, friends and coworkers came out for the fun. All-in-all, I would guess around 100 people were crowded into an area of Red Robin that was way too small. :-) But it was great. The staff team at Red Robin really went above and beyond for us. As you can see by the pictures, they decorated for us, got me a card and got us a cake. It really was a memorable experience.

Thank you to everyone that came out. It was great to see so many people that support Meg, Caleb and me. For those of you that got me gift cards, phone cards and other gifts, thank you so much...it was totally unexpected, but it was really great and we appreciate it dearly. I'm looking forward to the Welcome Home Party with all of my great friends. Thanks again.

Welcome to the insanity...!!

2008-12-28T00:08:00.005-05:00

Well, we're 8 days and counting now, folks! If I sound a lot more chipper than you would assume I'd be...you're right (because I'm not sure I've ever been more emotionally unstable...today was a rough day for Joshua, too...). But here's the skinny: Joshua leaves for Columbus next Friday, his going away ceremony on Saturday, free day on Sunday and ships out on Monday. And by "shipping out," right now I only mean Oooooooooooook-lahoma. Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains. Where the waves and wheat...oh, wait. That's the musical...

As for the title of our blog (its late, and I'm skipping around in my randomness), it is very much something that we believe and are living out (as a matter of fact...we have it permanently inked in Hebrew on our bodies...maybe one day I'll bless you with the pictures *wink*). No matter WHAT happens...we know God is in this. And because He's in us, we have never felt so hopeful in what sometimes feels like a hopeless situation. For sure, people deploy every day. But the personal impact of its reality is far different to deal with than the idea or the possibility. So, we're learning and coping and growing through this process. Without a doubt, we are being stretched in our faith daily...which is always a journey anyway!

I hope you'll enjoy the ride with us...

Mizpah

Old News, New News....

run for it!

To be honest and all.

struggling

Perspective.

speechless

School's Out For Summer...

Carr Family Update

it IS a Good Friday...

beautiful things

lacking nothing

children of God

chosen people

honest heart...thoughts from a mom

also blogging...

[quiet moments]

rumblings in my heart...

Mr. Smart-Guy...

our heart...

the end.

a hodge-podge of emotion...

ruined.

Its been a while

OUR crazylove

Crazy Love

Time for bullet points....

We're alive...

A world of thanks...

The dream won't die...

The best things in life are free...

I can't WAIT...

Caleb-isms

Only my kid....*shaking my head*

A much needed weekend...

At this time 6 years ago...

To my husband...

Because I know you will...

Who turned on the hair dryer?

Here comes trouble...

From the mouths of babes

Mothers versus Moms

This is where I live

I got promoted!!!

I dare you...

Happy Easter...from the Carr's!!

What do you say to this....?!

Things I can't wait to have again

Gems

Hey, daddy....!

The Mizpah mystery...and my snazzy pedicure!! *wink*

Updates:

Life in Kuwait

Choosing NOT to share in the joy...

*sigh....*

Our last night in OK

Day at the zoo

Joshua's 4 short days

Being intentional

My theory on life...through flight...

My Last Blog From Fort Sill

Love Is Something That You Do

What happened to Indiana Jones?

So here is what's going on

Deeper than a puddle???

From whom all blessings flow...

Spaghetti-o's and sadness...

Conflict Zone: Valvoline-gate

Basketball: The Cure All

Oiy

Now I'm doing some Army training - Part 1

Here I am, doin' a whole lot of nothin'

Was Someone trying to tell me something...??

Caleb's Special Day

Going Away Party

Welcome to the insanity...!!

Only my kid....shaking my head

The Mizpah mystery...and my snazzy pedicure!! wink

sigh....