Driving in the car on a random day...
Caleb: Mommy, why do people (ahem...YOU, mommy) yell at other cars while they're driving?
Mommy: *sheepishly* Um, because sometimes other cars aren't driving safely and its dangerous if they aren't paying attention.
Caleb. So they can hear you?
Mommy: Uh....no.
Caleb: So why do you yell at them...?
Mommy: *eyeballing him in the rear-view mirror* Um...
Caleb: *satisfied that he's completely admonished me at this point...ends the conversation*
Well, ok...thanks for the kick in the pants, Mr. Smart-Guy...
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
our heart...
Warning: semi-venting zone...(I don't mean for it to be....I just don't know how else to explain this topic!)
Its funny to me as we start to explore this adoption journey, how much we have to explain ourselves and our decisions through the process. I suppose sort of a natural curiousness...I also know that many people are asking because they are sincerely praying for us, which is greatly appreciated. Either way, for my sake and peace of mind, I need to blog it out. Here are the top things we've been asked, and hopefully the answers will help make sense of our decisions:
Why not just have another baby of your own?
First of all, we are. We're just choosing to do it another way than most. My personal health problems taken into account, we feel like this is the wisest way for us to build our family at this point. There's all that...AND the fact that we both feel like God is calling us to build our family through adoption.
Why do you want to adopt?
Adoption has been a call on my life for the last 11 years...and J has felt God pulling him in line with that over the last few years. Its been a miraculous thing. There are 143 million orphans in the world...and the Bible says very specifically that it is the responsibility of believers to look after them. We feel that our family has been called in this direction and we will continue to pursue it.
Why do you want to adopt internationally?
Because I have been fortunate enough to travel fairly extensively with missions, I have always had a heart for the world, and have seen real need in many countries. It just feels like a natural fit with God's heart.
Why don't you just adopt domestically?
We did look into it. Unfortunately, the cost is about the same as international adoption...but the unknowns and the ability of birth mothers to change their minds (up to a year after giving up parental rights) was too much for us to want to emotionally handle.
What does Caleb think about this?
Caleb. My sweet little boy...I don't think that we could have been blessed with a more sensitive, sweet-spirited son. He is smart, and self-aware, and has such a neat perspective on the world. When I went to Cambodia in 2007, he would pray for the children there at night. When our church began the Clear Blue Water project, he wanted to take home a bottle to put coins in, because he can't understand someone not being able to have water when they want it. When he learned about the earthquake in Haiti, he asks continuous questions about them. When we talked with him about God choosing a brother or sister for him through adoption, he had questions, and we did our best to answer them. He's excited about the entire process...and could care less if they look like him, because he loves them already.
Where are you now in the process?
Right now, we are looking into a new agency that comes very highly recommended...and they have a lot of other programs aside from just adoption that sit well with my spirit. They support orphan care year-round, have several sponsorship programs, and a missions program that runs continuously. We are currently seeking God for direction on 2 specific countries, and won't say much more until we feel His confirmation. A lot depends on timing, work situations (my job doesn't have adoption/parental leave....well, it does....but its not good), finances, etc. Either way, we believe in a big God that has big plans for our family...and we trust Him entirely with that. Will some question our decisions? Probably. And that will probably always be the case, but we stand firm knowing the promises that God has called us to, and we will be as faithful to this calling as possible.
There. I feel better. :-) Will I have to answer these questions again? Maybe. But I think that covers the basics for now. I hope that as you read that, you didn't read it with a critical spirit, for that certainly wasn't my intent. For the most part, everyone we know has been supportive and prayerful with and for us. I just know that as we choose to do something considered a bit outside the box...people will have questions. I just hope those answers are good enough, because they are all I have! Feel free to email me and ask more!!
Its funny to me as we start to explore this adoption journey, how much we have to explain ourselves and our decisions through the process. I suppose sort of a natural curiousness...I also know that many people are asking because they are sincerely praying for us, which is greatly appreciated. Either way, for my sake and peace of mind, I need to blog it out. Here are the top things we've been asked, and hopefully the answers will help make sense of our decisions:
Why not just have another baby of your own?
First of all, we are. We're just choosing to do it another way than most. My personal health problems taken into account, we feel like this is the wisest way for us to build our family at this point. There's all that...AND the fact that we both feel like God is calling us to build our family through adoption.
Why do you want to adopt?
Adoption has been a call on my life for the last 11 years...and J has felt God pulling him in line with that over the last few years. Its been a miraculous thing. There are 143 million orphans in the world...and the Bible says very specifically that it is the responsibility of believers to look after them. We feel that our family has been called in this direction and we will continue to pursue it.
Why do you want to adopt internationally?
Because I have been fortunate enough to travel fairly extensively with missions, I have always had a heart for the world, and have seen real need in many countries. It just feels like a natural fit with God's heart.
Why don't you just adopt domestically?
We did look into it. Unfortunately, the cost is about the same as international adoption...but the unknowns and the ability of birth mothers to change their minds (up to a year after giving up parental rights) was too much for us to want to emotionally handle.
What does Caleb think about this?
Caleb. My sweet little boy...I don't think that we could have been blessed with a more sensitive, sweet-spirited son. He is smart, and self-aware, and has such a neat perspective on the world. When I went to Cambodia in 2007, he would pray for the children there at night. When our church began the Clear Blue Water project, he wanted to take home a bottle to put coins in, because he can't understand someone not being able to have water when they want it. When he learned about the earthquake in Haiti, he asks continuous questions about them. When we talked with him about God choosing a brother or sister for him through adoption, he had questions, and we did our best to answer them. He's excited about the entire process...and could care less if they look like him, because he loves them already.
Where are you now in the process?
Right now, we are looking into a new agency that comes very highly recommended...and they have a lot of other programs aside from just adoption that sit well with my spirit. They support orphan care year-round, have several sponsorship programs, and a missions program that runs continuously. We are currently seeking God for direction on 2 specific countries, and won't say much more until we feel His confirmation. A lot depends on timing, work situations (my job doesn't have adoption/parental leave....well, it does....but its not good), finances, etc. Either way, we believe in a big God that has big plans for our family...and we trust Him entirely with that. Will some question our decisions? Probably. And that will probably always be the case, but we stand firm knowing the promises that God has called us to, and we will be as faithful to this calling as possible.
There. I feel better. :-) Will I have to answer these questions again? Maybe. But I think that covers the basics for now. I hope that as you read that, you didn't read it with a critical spirit, for that certainly wasn't my intent. For the most part, everyone we know has been supportive and prayerful with and for us. I just know that as we choose to do something considered a bit outside the box...people will have questions. I just hope those answers are good enough, because they are all I have! Feel free to email me and ask more!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Sunday, December 6, 2009
a hodge-podge of emotion...
The end is near! There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Aren't you excited? Its almost over! I'll bet you can't wait!
...all of these are exclamations of excitement I hear daily from those around me. Of course all of those things are true, but for some reason, I have been struggling to find comfort in them. I was beginning to feel bad for my annoyance at hearing these statements...until a friend put a fantastic analogy that fit perfectly for my feelings.
She said that this time is like the end of a long car ride on vacation. Its like being on hour 23 of 24 in the car....anticipating what's ahead....and yet ready to scream and jump out of the window....all at the same time. YES!!! That's so it. So if I've been on the receiving end of one of your well-intended comments....thank you. :-) And I love you for it.
As I look back, this year has been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Together and apart, J and I have struggled to understand our new roles and duties, and thrive in them~how to communicate effectively from a distance, and learned how to truly understand~wrestled with our faith, and have been humbled a thousand times~been dealt blows to our health, from a miscarriage that was unexpected, to surgeries for Caleb and me, to teeny flu bugs, only to know Christ's grace and healing~accepted many blessings from neighbors and old friends~cried endless nights from lonliness, only to be enveloped in a Father's love~fought through emotional problems with Caleb, and found support and creative solutions......I could go on and on and on.....but I think we have come through the other side changed people. Strong. Whole. Grateful. Full of joy.
So to all of YOU, thank you. Your constant and unwavering support, encouragement, prayers, assistance and love have kept us sane this year (especially me!). :-) Whether you feel as if you have done a lot, or very little....know that it has all been deeply felt by Joshua, Caleb and myself...and we cannot express our appreciation sufficiently. You have been the hands and feet of the body of Christ to us in a tangible way, and it was and is beautiful...
To my husband...I love you and am ever proud.
To my Abba Father...I stand amazed.
*love*
...all of these are exclamations of excitement I hear daily from those around me. Of course all of those things are true, but for some reason, I have been struggling to find comfort in them. I was beginning to feel bad for my annoyance at hearing these statements...until a friend put a fantastic analogy that fit perfectly for my feelings.
She said that this time is like the end of a long car ride on vacation. Its like being on hour 23 of 24 in the car....anticipating what's ahead....and yet ready to scream and jump out of the window....all at the same time. YES!!! That's so it. So if I've been on the receiving end of one of your well-intended comments....thank you. :-) And I love you for it.
As I look back, this year has been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Together and apart, J and I have struggled to understand our new roles and duties, and thrive in them~how to communicate effectively from a distance, and learned how to truly understand~wrestled with our faith, and have been humbled a thousand times~been dealt blows to our health, from a miscarriage that was unexpected, to surgeries for Caleb and me, to teeny flu bugs, only to know Christ's grace and healing~accepted many blessings from neighbors and old friends~cried endless nights from lonliness, only to be enveloped in a Father's love~fought through emotional problems with Caleb, and found support and creative solutions......I could go on and on and on.....but I think we have come through the other side changed people. Strong. Whole. Grateful. Full of joy.
So to all of YOU, thank you. Your constant and unwavering support, encouragement, prayers, assistance and love have kept us sane this year (especially me!). :-) Whether you feel as if you have done a lot, or very little....know that it has all been deeply felt by Joshua, Caleb and myself...and we cannot express our appreciation sufficiently. You have been the hands and feet of the body of Christ to us in a tangible way, and it was and is beautiful...
To my husband...I love you and am ever proud.
To my Abba Father...I stand amazed.
*love*
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
ruined.
Whoa.
Whoa is not an exclamation that comes often from my lips. Its something more that draws itself out of my soul...when I am deeply moved...touched...stirred...so I hope this rambling turns itself into a cohesive thought process by the end.
Went tonight to see the much anticipated i-heart documentary by Hillsong United. It was so well done, so professional, so thoughtful, so creative, so artsy, so intellectual, so whoa. So Jesus. I don't think I can form a more complete thought or sentence at this point about the film, but it totally brought me back to a place...a place I may have shared about before, but it was so tangible tonight...
...when we were in Cambodia 2 years ago, I remember the frustration and feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the need that we were surrounded by. It often felt like we were completely insignificant in our sincere desire to bring love.hope.truth. to these people. (much of the movie focused on this...)
And one night, I remember having the girls climb into the van before me, and this woman approached...begging. I remember vividly the look of desperation in her eyes, as she shuffled towards us...her infant wrapped in nothing more than a rag...naked. Everything inside of me broke at that moment.
A rush of emotions flooded me...because this time, it was different.
This time, I was a wife.
...a mom.
And I couldn't reconcile the feelings within me of the utter despair she must've been feeling. To beg on the street. To not be able to provide for her child. To be willing to give up the last bit of pride and independence she must've once felt in order to survive.
This is the world. This is reality. This is what we so often teach ourselves to turn a blind eye from.
And in that moment, I saw the neediest, most broken soul.
And I also saw the face of God.
To know that He also gave up his Son for Love. For us. To know that in the darkest of places, He always offers Hope. Life. Peace.
Friends, there IS a revolution going on. Its stirring in the hearts of the innocent. the broken. the redeemed. The Church.
I can't imagine anything I want to be a part of more...its ruined me for life...and I love it.
"You may choose to look the other way, but you may never again say that you did not know." ~William Wilberforce
Check it out:
www.i-heart.org
Whoa is not an exclamation that comes often from my lips. Its something more that draws itself out of my soul...when I am deeply moved...touched...stirred...so I hope this rambling turns itself into a cohesive thought process by the end.
Went tonight to see the much anticipated i-heart documentary by Hillsong United. It was so well done, so professional, so thoughtful, so creative, so artsy, so intellectual, so whoa. So Jesus. I don't think I can form a more complete thought or sentence at this point about the film, but it totally brought me back to a place...a place I may have shared about before, but it was so tangible tonight...
...when we were in Cambodia 2 years ago, I remember the frustration and feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the need that we were surrounded by. It often felt like we were completely insignificant in our sincere desire to bring love.hope.truth. to these people. (much of the movie focused on this...)
And one night, I remember having the girls climb into the van before me, and this woman approached...begging. I remember vividly the look of desperation in her eyes, as she shuffled towards us...her infant wrapped in nothing more than a rag...naked. Everything inside of me broke at that moment.
A rush of emotions flooded me...because this time, it was different.
This time, I was a wife.
...a mom.
And I couldn't reconcile the feelings within me of the utter despair she must've been feeling. To beg on the street. To not be able to provide for her child. To be willing to give up the last bit of pride and independence she must've once felt in order to survive.
This is the world. This is reality. This is what we so often teach ourselves to turn a blind eye from.
And in that moment, I saw the neediest, most broken soul.
And I also saw the face of God.
To know that He also gave up his Son for Love. For us. To know that in the darkest of places, He always offers Hope. Life. Peace.
Friends, there IS a revolution going on. Its stirring in the hearts of the innocent. the broken. the redeemed. The Church.
I can't imagine anything I want to be a part of more...its ruined me for life...and I love it.
"You may choose to look the other way, but you may never again say that you did not know." ~William Wilberforce
Check it out:
www.i-heart.org
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Its been a while
Hello everyone, I know its been a minute since I've blogged but I'm going to blame that on facebook. I picked that up as my main avenue of communication and I haven't really put it down. But Meg has informed me that some people have been asking for a blog from me so I figured I should get to it.
Thing here are well. We're in the final leg of this deployment. I think most of us are ready to get home. I know I am. My time away and my brief time home on R&R made me realize just how much I love my family. R&R was great by the way. We went to Disney World, was in a wedding, built a deck, had a backyard camping adventure and still had to time to just be together. It was awesome.
There are a couple great things about the fall. First is the dropping temperatures. I never really minded the heat but it is nice not to have 130 degrees everyday. Second is....football season. I really think this has picked up a lot of guys moods. Its like we all have something to look forward to every Saturday and Sunday. I have been fortunate to be able to see 3 of the 4 Buckeye games so far, including the heartbreaker to USC. And even though I'm on the other side of the world, I still am able to participate in my fantasy football league with my guys back home. So every Saturday and Sunday, you know where to find me. The only stinky part is we are still 7 hours ahead so to watch games live can be tough. But AFN (Armed Forces Network, our cable) will usually replay games a couple times so there are chancs to watch.
Anyways, I just wanted to blog and say that I am alive and well. Oh, and I've made some new friends. I was able to post their pictures on facebook so I hope I can here to. Their pics will be at the end.
I hope this note finds you well. Thank you again for all the prayers and support you've given to Meg, Caleb and I. Just a little while longer.
Josh
Monday, September 28, 2009
OUR crazylove
Yep...we're THAT crazy...
And who wouldn't be crazy about this?!
*sigh* And those two...
It doesn't get any better than this...
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