Tuesday, February 21, 2012

i give up.

I am challenged each year by the season of Lent...when we refocus our spiritual eyes on the sacrifices and great Love that was given for us. 

Sometimes I have chosen to give things up.  A quick recap of prior years, if you will:  Coke (my roommates hated me), tv, fast food, Facebook (best thing I ever did)...

These small sacrifices on my part do help me in some small way to realize my flesh rules more than I want it to.  Discipline is spurred.  Relationships strengthened.  It is good. 

But it is not enough.  Friends, we can never match the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.  Not ever.  But there is a part of me that says it is not enough.  Not for me.  Not for that nagging voice inside me that always is critical of my motives and my heart.  It lies to me...you could do more, you could be more, you are not able...

I have struggled for years to know one singular truth - I am enough. 

Who the God of this universe made me to be.  Who I am.  Who I want to be.  Its all enough. 

I don't have to please the world.  I don't have to earn love.  I don't have to be perfect. 

And yet, sometimes, I still don't quite believe it. 

So this year, I give up.  [This year for Lent, I hope in some way, you join me in giving up, too.]

I give up...

Worrying what others think about me. 

Striving for perfection. 


Fear of the unknown.

Stress over things I cannot control. 

Self - condemnation.


Lack of discipline. 

I could go on...but that's quite a list already, don't ya think? 

Believing the promise of Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." 

Give up the lies the world feeds you.  The lies the devil wants you to accept as truth. 

We are sons of Adam and daughters of Eve.  And if the very Son of God thought enough of you to die on a cross on a hill...we must learn to accept that truth. 

Here's to giving up.  Renew your mind.  Fill it with truth.  I'm with you. 

[And hey...if you need to give up Coke, tv, fast food, Facebook, etc...you do that, too.  Go for it.  That's between you and Jesus.]

In God We Trust

Many of you have asked me about our biggest spiritual take-aways, thus far, as we traverse this process of adoption.  Really wanna know?  Here it is: 

Yep.  Trust is such an interesting thing.  I often times fool myself into thinking that I don't have trust issues.  (Insert your own LOL here)  I can think of dozens of situations and circumstances that I have lived through where my trust and faith have been shaped and molded into something that seems almost tangible at times.  Going on 5 mission trips.  Difficult family situations.  Living without my husband for a year while he was overseas.  I could go on...but in each of those situations, God has taken my faith and changed it into something real.  Something strong. 

Then I encounter a new situation.  A new circumstance.  And everything I know is challenged. 

The beauty that I have found in this is that our salvation is a living thing.  Our relationship with Jesus is alive...and it is either well or unwell. 

So I rest in knowing that I love and serve a God that is bigger than paper-chasing.  I trust a God that MAKES adoption possible, because He first adopted us. 

I can't trust in our social worker, although we think she's great.
I can't trust in our case workers, although we think they're pretty awesome, too. 
I can't trust in the post office, although...wait.  No.  I just can't trust in the post office.  ;-) 

I want to control this situation, this process.  But I can't.  I won't.

I lay down each day, sometimes with tears in my eyes, and give it to my Abba Father.  He knows a precious baby girl is meant to live out her life with purpose - and we will be waiting, trusting, with open arms. 

Oh, and by the way.  A hug if you see me wouldn't hurt, either.