ruined.

Whoa.

Whoa is not an exclamation that comes often from my lips. Its something more that draws itself out of my soul...when I am deeply moved...touched...stirred...so I hope this rambling turns itself into a cohesive thought process by the end.

Went tonight to see the much anticipated i-heart documentary by Hillsong United. It was so well done, so professional, so thoughtful, so creative, so artsy, so intellectual, so whoa. So Jesus. I don't think I can form a more complete thought or sentence at this point about the film, but it totally brought me back to a place...a place I may have shared about before, but it was so tangible tonight...

...when we were in Cambodia 2 years ago, I remember the frustration and feeling of being overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the need that we were surrounded by. It often felt like we were completely insignificant in our sincere desire to bring love.hope.truth. to these people. (much of the movie focused on this...)

And one night, I remember having the girls climb into the van before me, and this woman approached...begging. I remember vividly the look of desperation in her eyes, as she shuffled towards us...her infant wrapped in nothing more than a rag...naked. Everything inside of me broke at that moment.

A rush of emotions flooded me...because this time, it was different.

This time, I was a wife.

...a mom.

And I couldn't reconcile the feelings within me of the utter despair she must've been feeling. To beg on the street. To not be able to provide for her child. To be willing to give up the last bit of pride and independence she must've once felt in order to survive.

This is the world. This is reality. This is what we so often teach ourselves to turn a blind eye from.

And in that moment, I saw the neediest, most broken soul.

And I also saw the face of God.

To know that He also gave up his Son for Love. For us. To know that in the darkest of places, He always offers Hope. Life. Peace.

Friends, there IS a revolution going on. Its stirring in the hearts of the innocent. the broken. the redeemed. The Church.

I can't imagine anything I want to be a part of more...its ruined me for life...and I love it.

"You may choose to look the other way, but you may never again say that you did not know." ~William Wilberforce


Check it out:
www.i-heart.org

Its been a while

Hello everyone, I know its been a minute since I've blogged but I'm going to blame that on facebook. I picked that up as my main avenue of communication and I haven't really put it down. But Meg has informed me that some people have been asking for a blog from me so I figured I should get to it.

Thing here are well. We're in the final leg of this deployment. I think most of us are ready to get home. I know I am. My time away and my brief time home on R&R made me realize just how much I love my family. R&R was great by the way. We went to Disney World, was in a wedding, built a deck, had a backyard camping adventure and still had to time to just be together. It was awesome.

There are a couple great things about the fall. First is the dropping temperatures. I never really minded the heat but it is nice not to have 130 degrees everyday. Second is....football season. I really think this has picked up a lot of guys moods. Its like we all have something to look forward to every Saturday and Sunday. I have been fortunate to be able to see 3 of the 4 Buckeye games so far, including the heartbreaker to USC. And even though I'm on the other side of the world, I still am able to participate in my fantasy football league with my guys back home. So every Saturday and Sunday, you know where to find me. The only stinky part is we are still 7 hours ahead so to watch games live can be tough. But AFN (Armed Forces Network, our cable) will usually replay games a couple times so there are chancs to watch.

Anyways, I just wanted to blog and say that I am alive and well. Oh, and I've made some new friends. I was able to post their pictures on facebook so I hope I can here to. Their pics will be at the end.

I hope this note finds you well. Thank you again for all the prayers and support you've given to Meg, Caleb and I. Just a little while longer.

Josh

OUR crazylove

Yep...we're THAT crazy...

And who wouldn't be crazy about this?!

*sigh* And those two...

It doesn't get any better than this...

Crazy Love

I know its been longer than I said it would be, and I apologize! The last few months of this deployment are harder than we thought. School is busy, emotions are all over the place, things at the house seem to never be done....but God is still good! We're still looking for Joshua to be home before the holidays sometime, which is excellent news. We're also on the waiting list for South Korea right now...and the process should begin right around that same time! I think a blog in the near future will focus more on the adoption, our decision, and where are hearts are.

THIS blog, though...I wanted to share with all of you something that has been messing me up lately. I'm reading a phenomenal book called, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan. First of all, Francis Chan is the real deal. There are pastors galore that write books...but this guy really walks his talk. I told a friend of mine that I think he reeks of authenticity....and THAT, folks, is something you don't find much anymore.

But moving on to the book. Get it. Read it. Live it. Its SO good. The first chapter blew me away...but along with the book, Chan has a website that goes along with the concepts and ideas that he's written about. So I'm watching one of the videos and Chan is talking about the concept of "crazy love." Takes a minute (or a million) to wrap your brain around the idea, but he put it like this, and I love it:

Our relationship with God is a constant pursuit...by Him, not us (because we're human...and sinners). He [Chan] said to look at our relationship with Him like a proposal....THE proposal...which got me to thinking. Well, every girl in the world has either dreamed about or lived that moment over and over again. And every boy in the world has either worried about it, or been the one doing it. To us, that moment seems to be the beginning of it all.....a life of love, passion, unconditional commitment, etc. But in our broken world...that proposal can lead to all of those things, but it also leads to disappointment, broken promises and lonely relationships. But turn it around and think of it from God's perspective. If we look at it as a proposal in the truest sense...the one moment in our life full of passion, purpose, and unconditional love...that moment captured...forever...is how God is constantly chasing us. Constantly. No matter what we do, how often we fail, or how far we wander...that, my friends, is Crazy Love.

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm.  For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave.  Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame.  Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it."  ~ Song of Solomon 8:6-8 [NLT]

"I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness.  Then you will know the LORD." ~ Hosea 2:19-20 [NASB]



When you're loved by a God like that...what could be better? More thoughts on this to come...

And the book? Go get it. :-)

Time for bullet points....

So, yeah. Its been a while, blog-world. :-) Here are the life and times of the Carr fam....bullet point style...

• Joshua's R&R was fantastic!!! Disney World, a wedding, a new deck, an extra day at the end because of travel problems....we couldn't have asked for more.
• My aunt came for a visit. She's awesome. Caleb renamed her "Aunt Nana" because he couldn't believe she was his cousin's nana. :-)
• We went on the most fantastic vaca ever with some of the best people we know. It did Caleb and my hearts good to be able to relax and rest right after Josh left. My favorite thing ever is what Caleb told me on vacation: "Mommy, I love Jesus more than girls." Way to be, little man. Way to be.
• Summer is officially over (I mean...if you're in Ohio....did it ever really start?!). I went back to school on Friday. The kiddos start invading on Tuesday.
• I have officially lost 24 pounds since I joined my personal training place. I'm really proud of myself!!
• We do have a date for J's welcome home.
• The most exciting news of all, for those that haven't heard, is that we submitted our preliminary application for our adoption while J was home. We will be on a waiting list for about 4 months, but then we should be ready to rock 'n roll with the process. And let me be clear....it will be a PROCESS.....like a 12-18 month process (and that's after we are off the waiting list). But....its good. And its definitely a God-thing.

More blogs to come.

*love*

We're alive...

And will blog again soon...

*love*

A world of thanks...

I felt like I needed to write this to thank everyone near and dear to us...and sent it to our local papers, who both published around the 4th of July holiday. Enjoy...


To the Editor,

I wanted to take a quick moment this 4th of July holiday to thank a few of our community members. My husband is currently deployed to Iraq, and we had very little time to prepare for his departure. With that being the case, it has been a difficult adjustment at our home, in terms of all of the practical items that need to be done, along with keeping up our finances, my career and son.

I have been blessed beyond measure by our friends and neighbors—who have gone great lengths to take out our trash, shovel our driveway in the winter, mow our yard when our mowers break (which is often!) , and generally keep a kind, watchful eye out for us. Those small things have meant more than I can explain. I would also like to thank the many members of the Akron Area YMCA, where my husband is employed, that have kept us so close in thought and prayer.

And so this 4th of July holiday, I honor all of them…because while we take time to honor the men and women that serve our country…it is also people like this that exemplify the true meaning of community in the absence of our loved ones overseas. I, my entire family, and families just like mine, give thanks from the very bottom of our hearts. Happy Independence Day!

*love*